Tag Archives: communication

Robots vs. Leaders with Empathy

Speaking from my years of experience working with people, families and communities as a professional coach, trainer, psychotherapist and social worker, I’ve always appreciated that our human needs are very clear – we want to be seen, have a voice and be able to contribute in a meaningful way.

And a robot or computer simply can’t provide that connection in any significant way and never will be able to. A robot is no competition for the human touch, the human heart and the human ear.

As leaders, these subtle but critical sensibilities show up as empathy. Empathy is the core of all social & emotional intelligence: true inspirational leadership never happens without it. Empathy is the ability to see the situation from another person’s eyes and heart. It’s the ability to set aside your own agenda, to listen deeply without judgment and to be able to genuinely understand and appreciate the perspective of another.

Do all leaders have this ability? No, they do not but the ones who do are remembered for their ability to engage and inspire us to always be at our best. We will work our hearts and souls out for that leader who genuinely hears us, values us and gives us the opportunity to use our talents to contribute in meaningful ways.

Can empathy be learned? Yes, it can, with daily practice and an authentic belief and enjoyment of others. It’s part of what clearly differentiates us from any computer program, machine or data package.

A robot can’t compete or replace us when we as leaders are at our best and humanly connected to others.

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You Have a Right to a Seat at the Table

As a woman, how do you get to a position of leadership? A position of influence? A position to make a difference? It’s by having self-confidence. It’s the confidence to know that you can do it – that you are a strong and capable woman. It’s by taking that seat at the table right along with your male colleagues

As Sheryl Sandberg writes in her wonderful book, Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead, 2013, we as women unconsciously but regularly hold ourselves back from sitting at the table.

As women, we can learn a lot from men about how to embrace our own successes. For example, research shows that when men are asked about how they achieved their various successes, they give credit to themselves – to their own innate qualities, skills and yes, their potential. It’s not in an egotistical way (no one likes that) but men don’t usually minimize or excuse their abilities but rather give themselves credit where credit is due.

Now, when a woman is asked about her success, what does she say? You will hear them (or even yourself) attribute their success to external factors like “I couldn’t have done it without other people’s help” or “I had a good mentor” or the worse for self-confidence . . . “I just got lucky”.

We constantly underestimate ourselves! Does that sound familiar? And the research verifies what we as women have suspected for a long time . . . we judge our performance worse than it actually is (men judge themselves slightly better) and when we are in front of other people, we are even more critical.

Changing this kind of self-talk is long overdue – especially as we raising our talented young daughters. We truly need the best of everyone – men and women of all ages – and, yes, ourselves as well!

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What the Best Companies Are Doing for Future Leaders

It’s happening in Colorado Springs, Colorado. The Colorado Springs Utilities company has been awarded the ATD (Association of Talent Development) BEST Award for the second time in recognition of their internal corporate university designed to develop their next generation of leaders

What can we learn from this innovative company?

First, it is critical that the senior executive team be not only committed to developing aspiring leaders but also actively involved in giving their time to mentor these individuals. The corporate university has several leadership tracks including an advanced 10-month track entitled the “Leader 2 Leader” program. The executive team takes ownership in a very positive way of the ultimate outcome of the leadership development process.

Second, the CSU company actively identifies individual employees who have high leadership potential regardless of their longevity with the company. The old belief of “you have to pay your dues” is gone in light of the reality of what will attract and retain top talent in the younger generations. And every employee, no matter where they are in the company, is provided learning developmental opportunities so they can provide increased value to the company.

Third, the vast majority of the leadership development is live except for a few online prerequisite courses. The emphasis is on building bridges between the experienced tenured managers/leadership and those emerging leaders who are so critically needed in this unique, rapidly moving and competitive industry. This is where the invaluable knowledge transfer occurs and the more important trust and relationship building occurs.

This story of the Colorado Springs Utilities company is included along with the other stories of the winners of ATD BEST awards in the November issue of ATD’s monthly magazine, TD. It is truly inspirational to read about these companies and what they are doing today – not tomorrow – to develop this next generation of leaders.

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Association of Talent Development (ATD) TD Magazine

I’ve been an active member of our local and national chapter of the Association of Talent Development (ATD) (formerly ASTD) for years. Professional trainers, HR professionals and executive leadership coaches have always known that ATD is a wealth of knowledge and resources for internal and external leaders working to recruit, retain and engage top talent in their organizations.

I particularly like ATD’s monthly magazine – now called TD – which I save and refer back to frequently. The articles are excellent and provide the latest research and insights from the industry’s thought leaders. The focus is squarely on talent management and how training supports those initiatives. I’ve even been a contributor to their website ATD.org community of best practices blogs. Check this association out – it’s well worth it!

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What 5 Qualities to Embrace as a Leader

How is leadership developed? Does it come about just naturally or is it a learned set of skills? Or maybe a combination? I love to work with emerging leaders as well as those who have served as leaders over time.

And this is what I have learned . . . great leaders have a wonderful capacity to visualize what “can be” rather than just focus on what “has been”. Great leaders have a gift of being able to inspire and engage others to commit themselves to meaningful work that makes a difference in people’s lives. Great leaders are committed to listening deeply to what is important to others, giving them a voice and a seat at the table to contribute their ideas, talents and strengths.

Have you ever worked with a great leader? We don’t often get that chance but when we do we don’t forget what that experience was like. It meant a lot at the time because we felt recognized, appreciated and honored for the unique value we could bring to the company, project or organization. We simply worked our heart and souls out for those great leaders.

These are five of those best qualities for you to integrate into your own leadership growth.

  1. Visualize the Bigger Mission & Purpose
  2. Inspire & Engage Others
  3. Listen & Communicate Effectively
  4. Recognize and Leverage Strengths
  5. Demonstrate an Authentic Commitment to Team/Consensus
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