Category Archives: Personal Development

Emotional Intelligence: Use It or Lose Your Career!

You may think I’m exaggerating but it’s true. The #1 reason professionals stumble in their career advancement is because of their lack of social and emotional intelligence. They may have all the knowledge, skills and even years of experience but they have earned a reputation for not being able to get along with their colleagues, direct reports or even their bosses.  In short, their own self-awareness; empathy for others and ability to manage their own emotions is limited or nonexistent.

These folks (are we talking about you?) are just known for being difficult – they don’t listen, are confrontational, unpredictable and even arrogant in their beliefs. They may be in a supervisory or middle management position because they have been with the company for so long but now their career is on thin ice and they wonder why.  But others know why . . .

So what exactly is “social and emotional intelligence”?  Here is a excellent working defination from the Institute for Social & Emotional Intelligence (ISEI), Denver, Colorado.

  • “Social and emotional intelligence is the ability to be aware of our own emotions and those of others, in the moment, and to use that information to manage ourselves and manage our relationships”.

I’ve been giving workshops on emotional intelligence (EQ) for years – it’s truly my favorite topic because it impacts every aspect of our working and personal lives.  I’m delighted now to be in an intensive coach certification course (October – November) through ISEI with my Australian coaching colleagues to learn even more.  I’ve already started to pull new ideas and tools into my training courses and with my individual coaching clients.

So let’s remember that 80 – 85% of our career success at the upper levels depends on our ability to connect, communicate and collaborate with others. Our own personal work experiences confirm that research.  We have all known industry leaders who have those qualities – they inspire, motivate and engage their teams and employees resulting in people working harder with energy, creativity and greater flexibility.  The result? Less employee turnover; higher productivity and greater profits for the company.

This is emotional intelligence competencies in action. Let’s be known as one of those leaders!

 

 

Posted in Career Tips & Strategies, Communication Tips, Emotional Intelligence, Inspirational Leadership, Navigating Change, Personal Development | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Using the MBTI to Make Life Easier

There are at least a hundred personality assessments on the market today – all with the promise that if we know ourselves better we will be happier and more successful in both our personal and professional lives.  We can take Emergenetics; the DiSC; the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI); Skill Scan; StrengthsFinder 2.0; Career Liftoff; Knowdell’s Motivated Skill Sort; the traditional 360° Assessment; Personal Branding surveys; Emotional Intelligence self-assessments and the list goes on and on.

But are they worth it?  Can they help us learn something about ourselves that we didn’t already know?  And how can we use the information to make our life a bit easier each and every day?

My answer is yes!  A bit of self-knowledge wisely applied can go a long way.  But first make sure to ask and answer these two questions for yourself ahead of time:

  1. What do I want to learn about myself?
  2. How will I apply that learning to my life today?

The answers to these two questions may be more difficult than you think.  That is why it is important to take the assessments under the guidance of a certified administrator that can clearly delineate the differences in the assessments, what you can expect to gain and then help you clarify how the resulting knowledge can benefit your goals at this time in your life.

But what about all the on-line assessments?  Yes, they have certainly gotten better in the last few years with many providing you with a robust report with more detail than maybe you even wanted.  A word of caution – be careful of the freebies.  You may be left with more questions, be more confused and more vulnerable for them to sell you a bigger package.  Look before you leap!

I am biased though and believe that nothing takes the place of talking with a real live professional that knows and cares about your own goals.  I want to know that they really know what they are talking about.  Over the years I’ve obtained certification in several of the well-known assessments.  I weave them into the beginning of the leadership or career transition coaching that I’m doing and people love them.  Maybe it’s the mystery of figuring out “Who am I really?’ or maybe it’s just trying to figure out what makes their husbands tick?

My favorite is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).  It’s the best-of-the-best because once we know and really understand our own innate “preferences” life really does become much easier.  And the icing on the cake, is now we know what motivates and energizes other people both in our families and in our work settings.  We also become a little less critical and a lot more appreciative of the “gifts” we all bring to the table every day.

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Patience in the Rain

Have you ever come across a faithful dog waiting in the rain for its owner to return? We feel sorry for the loyal dog, but the message is a great reminder.  Over the years we work in teams, committees and projects with many, many people.  And as we move around the country or overseas we also live with many other people in different living situations and a variety of communities. If we are wise, we nurture the best of these relationships faithfully.  We know as we continue to grow in our careers we need and want a supportive professional network of friends and colleagues that we can call in the good and bad times.

In short, we share a history together and a mutual respect for our diverse talents, skills, expertise and experiences. So when times get tough and the rain is pouring down, we know that each of us has each other’s back and we can wait in the rain for a bit.  And at the end of the day, that’s all that counts – as well as our faithful four legged friends.

Posted in Communication Tips, Emotional Intelligence, Inspirational Leadership, Navigating Change, Networking, Personal Development, Your Time & Energy | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Choose Not to Be Afraid

At 4:45am each morning I take the dogs outside for their first potty beak and to pick up our local paper off the front driveway. As our  golden retriever and westie (Snowball & Dooley) are rolling in the snow making snow angels, I am glancing at the paper’s headlines under the garage lights.

Almost without fail, the front page stories shout at me about something that is going to immediately endanger myself or my family.  It can be anything from global terrorism; the national economy, our local unemployment statistics; home foreclosure rates or a whole array of looming health disasters that will kill me off before the day is done.  I’m surprised I can stagger back into the house for my first cup of coffee.

Fear, worry and anxiety are epidemic in our world today.  The media, our politicians and even our family & friends are telling us constantly to “be afraid” of everything and anything.  Yes, there are some very real things in 2013 that we need to be concerned about but do we really have to be worried 24/7?  No, we don’t!

It’s our choice – what are we going to be concerned about (in a healthy way) and what are we going to let go.  It takes practice but over time each of us develops an inner “check list” of what is worth getting our “knickers in a twist” (as the Brits say) and what needs to go on the back burner.  That’s when our inner voice – the language – we use in speaking to ourselves becomes critical.

My challenge to you, is to pay attention to what media generated “fear” can hook you and then be touch with yourself in choosing your response.  It’s your choice.  Do I retreat to my comfort zone?  Second guess myself constantly? Become critical of others?  Cynical of the world around me?  Think about it . . . and I hope you choose to put fear in its proper place.  You are in control . . . not it.

Posted in And a Bit More, Communication Tips, Navigating Change, Personal Development, Your Time & Energy | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Are You a “Go-To” Person?

What a great question!  And if the answer is yes (and I hope it is) then the logical follow-up question is “What do people go to you for?  You may never have thought about it.  The answer may only be one word.  For example, people tell me that they come to me for “energy” or “inspiration”.  Maybe people come to you for your “wisdom” or for your “guidance” in challenging situations.  Or maybe you are in the inside loop and are known for some unique “knowledge” or “expertise/experience”.  It’s different for everyone and you may not even know for certain.

Your “Go-To” Reputation is Part of Your Brand

It’s a important question . . . what do others come to you for?  I always ask this question when working with people around building their career performance and long-term success.  And if they like the answer (which is very important) then we weave it into their personal and career brand so they own it – take control of it. It means that we are being seen as a resource – a valuable resource. We have something to offer relatively quickly and without a great deal of hassle.  We are approachable, easy to get in contact with and can be trusted to listen and provide some help. Now that is a great reputation to have.

Remember!  It doesn’t mean you have all the answers or that you’re going to take on all or even part of the work.  In fact, it’s very important that you don’t see yourself in that role but rather that you have the contacts and the willingness to help connect others with resources. It means that you are a connector – a person in the know.  That is an excellent reputation to have!

Learning from Sheila Leslie, Nevada State Senator

Just yesterday, I had the chance to listen to a wonderful member of the Nevada State Legislature, Sheila Leslie, State Senator, speak about her role in the legislature. In response to a question from the audience, Leslie shared how she mentors and advises newly elected legislators.  And she knows what she’s talking about . . . Leslie has served Northern Nevada since 1998 first as a State Assemblywoman and now as a State Senator. She is very well-respected and best known for her expertise and experience in the health and human services.

So it was no surprise that Leslie’s advice to young legislators is to become a “go-to” person in an area you are interested in; you have some expertise and you are willing to help others.  And that’s exactly what Leslie has done for years. Right out of graduate school, she served in the poorest areas of the Dominican Republic with the Peace Corp; started the first Food Bank in Nevada and worked for years establishing a network of child protective community services. Out of these personal experiences and passion, Leslie has become the valuable “go-to” person on these issues. This is her reputation and a very powerful influential brand. She’s an inspiration to all of us!

 

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