Kit Prendergast, PCC
Kit brings you a wealth of expertise and experience as well as a wonderful spirit, energy, and a gift for inspiring you to create the life you truly want for yourself.Kit's Tips & Books
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Tag Archives: Relationships
5 Steps to Build a Strong & Effective Habit
Building a strong habit that brings us the results we want is not that hard once we make up our minds that a change in our behavior is needed. But how do we do it? In his brand new book, The Coaching Habit, author Michael Bungay Stanier includes a chapter on how to teach yourself a new habit
I was intrigued, and Stanier’s ideas got me thinking about some of the best practices I recommend to leaders in today’s rapidly changing and challenging workplace. Here they are:
- Be honest with yourself – what is the “why” you are committing to this new behavior, especially when the success of this new habit will positively affect someone you care about.
- Identify what will be the specific “clue” or situation that will prompt your new behavior.
- Make your new behavior very simple and very short – no longer than 60 seconds to complete.
- Repeat the new behavior over and over and over until it becomes “second nature”.
- Acknowledge your successes everyday even when they might not have been “perfect”.
What would you add to this list? What works well for you? What can get in the way of your good intentions and how do you deal with those saboteurs? Let me know your ideas!
The Coaching Habit
The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever, by Michael Bungay Stanier, Box of Crayons Press, 2016.
At the recent Association of Talent Management (ATD) conference in Denver, Colorado I was cruising through the book store (my favorite place) and heard several people talking about how good Michael Stanier’s presentation was on how to build a powerful coaching habit for anyone in a position of leadership. I grabbed one of the last copies on the shelf and I could see what they were talking about!
Stanier’s newest book is an easy read, with a wealth of ideas on how to use 7 key questions to inspire and engage the best of one’s employees, team members and even your own boss. He delves into the science of our brains and how that impacts the success or derailment of habits. And I loved the chapter on how to build any habit that actually brings you the benefits you want. It’s a great find!
Do You Know Your Own “Why”
As a leader of others, do you know your own “Why”? Are you committed to this core belief? Are you able to communicate this belief clearly and consistently? Leaders are not leaders unless they have followers and people will not follow us unless they embrace the fundamental “Why” of our actions
In his book, Start With Why, Sinek describes this dynamic as the Golden Circle and maintains this is not just opinion but actually well grounded in the study of how our brains work. While on stage, he draws out 3 concentric circles on a flip chart. The “Why” is the center powered by our Limbic (emotional) brain. The next circle illustrates the “How” – the mechanics of how things get done. Finally, the outer circle is the easiest to describe – that’s the “What” we produce – the products or services.
As a business owner and leader of several community initiatives, I can easily relate to what Sinek is suggesting. When I seek to inspire and engage others to follow me in a cause or project, I am very mindful of what they are listening for – what is the “Why”? What is my purpose? What drives my commitment to them?
Sinek reminds all of us as leaders that people buy from us or work for us not for what we provide or for how we do it. People only commit to us when they believe and embrace the “Why” of our intentions and actions. They are inspired and that is the power whether we are the leader or the follower.
I challenge you (and me too) to step back this week and think about the “Why” of what we do. We may be surprised with our insights and how they may change the future of our work.
Posted in Kit's Tips
Tagged Brain Science, engagement, inspiration, Leadership, motivation, Relationships, resiliency, strengths, Talent Development, teams
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Robots vs. Leaders with Empathy
Speaking from my years of experience working with people, families and communities as a professional coach, trainer, psychotherapist and social worker, I’ve always appreciated that our human needs are very clear – we want to be seen, have a voice and be able to contribute in a meaningful way.
And a robot or computer simply can’t provide that connection in any significant way and never will be able to. A robot is no competition for the human touch, the human heart and the human ear.
As leaders, these subtle but critical sensibilities show up as empathy. Empathy is the core of all social & emotional intelligence: true inspirational leadership never happens without it. Empathy is the ability to see the situation from another person’s eyes and heart. It’s the ability to set aside your own agenda, to listen deeply without judgment and to be able to genuinely understand and appreciate the perspective of another.
Do all leaders have this ability? No, they do not but the ones who do are remembered for their ability to engage and inspire us to always be at our best. We will work our hearts and souls out for that leader who genuinely hears us, values us and gives us the opportunity to use our talents to contribute in meaningful ways.
Can empathy be learned? Yes, it can, with daily practice and an authentic belief and enjoyment of others. It’s part of what clearly differentiates us from any computer program, machine or data package.
A robot can’t compete or replace us when we as leaders are at our best and humanly connected to others.
The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps
The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else in Business, Patrick Lencioni, Jossey-Bass Publishers, San Francisco, CA, 2012.
This is a great book filled with powerful insights into the power of investing in your people. A coaching colleague recommended it as a “must read” and he was right. I haven’t finished it completely because there is so much there and it is that good!
Lencioni has a great style – it’s an easy read. And he backs up the common sense of investing in organization health with solid research and business examples. I found myself also thinking about various teams or work groups that I serve on – these concepts are equally valuable for smaller groups. In the rush of everyday work, are we missing out on a wealth of untapped resources in our people? Lencioni convinces me that there is a lot more out there than what we are paying attention to. Pick up the book and tell me what you think!