Kit Prendergast, PCC
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Category Archives: Navigating Change
Emotional Intelligence: Use It or Lose Your Career!
You may think I’m exaggerating but it’s true. The #1 reason professionals stumble in their career advancement is because of their lack of social and emotional intelligence. They may have all the knowledge, skills and even years of experience but they have earned a reputation for not being able to get along with their colleagues, direct reports or even their bosses. In short, their own self-awareness; empathy for others and ability to manage their own emotions is limited or nonexistent.
These folks (are we talking about you?) are just known for being difficult – they don’t listen, are confrontational, unpredictable and even arrogant in their beliefs. They may be in a supervisory or middle management position because they have been with the company for so long but now their career is on thin ice and they wonder why. But others know why . . .
So what exactly is “social and emotional intelligence”? Here is a excellent working defination from the Institute for Social & Emotional Intelligence (ISEI), Denver, Colorado.
- “Social and emotional intelligence is the ability to be aware of our own emotions and those of others, in the moment, and to use that information to manage ourselves and manage our relationships”.
I’ve been giving workshops on emotional intelligence (EQ) for years – it’s truly my favorite topic because it impacts every aspect of our working and personal lives. I’m delighted now to be in an intensive coach certification course (October – November) through ISEI with my Australian coaching colleagues to learn even more. I’ve already started to pull new ideas and tools into my training courses and with my individual coaching clients.
So let’s remember that 80 – 85% of our career success at the upper levels depends on our ability to connect, communicate and collaborate with others. Our own personal work experiences confirm that research. We have all known industry leaders who have those qualities – they inspire, motivate and engage their teams and employees resulting in people working harder with energy, creativity and greater flexibility. The result? Less employee turnover; higher productivity and greater profits for the company.
This is emotional intelligence competencies in action. Let’s be known as one of those leaders!
Using the MBTI to Make Life Easier
There are at least a hundred personality assessments on the market today – all with the promise that if we know ourselves better we will be happier and more successful in both our personal and professional lives. We can take Emergenetics; the DiSC; the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI); Skill Scan; StrengthsFinder 2.0; Career Liftoff; Knowdell’s Motivated Skill Sort; the traditional 360° Assessment; Personal Branding surveys; Emotional Intelligence self-assessments and the list goes on and on.
But are they worth it? Can they help us learn something about ourselves that we didn’t already know? And how can we use the information to make our life a bit easier each and every day?
My answer is yes! A bit of self-knowledge wisely applied can go a long way. But first make sure to ask and answer these two questions for yourself ahead of time:
- What do I want to learn about myself?
- How will I apply that learning to my life today?
The answers to these two questions may be more difficult than you think. That is why it is important to take the assessments under the guidance of a certified administrator that can clearly delineate the differences in the assessments, what you can expect to gain and then help you clarify how the resulting knowledge can benefit your goals at this time in your life.
But what about all the on-line assessments? Yes, they have certainly gotten better in the last few years with many providing you with a robust report with more detail than maybe you even wanted. A word of caution – be careful of the freebies. You may be left with more questions, be more confused and more vulnerable for them to sell you a bigger package. Look before you leap!
I am biased though and believe that nothing takes the place of talking with a real live professional that knows and cares about your own goals. I want to know that they really know what they are talking about. Over the years I’ve obtained certification in several of the well-known assessments. I weave them into the beginning of the leadership or career transition coaching that I’m doing and people love them. Maybe it’s the mystery of figuring out “Who am I really?’ or maybe it’s just trying to figure out what makes their husbands tick?
My favorite is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). It’s the best-of-the-best because once we know and really understand our own innate “preferences” life really does become much easier. And the icing on the cake, is now we know what motivates and energizes other people both in our families and in our work settings. We also become a little less critical and a lot more appreciative of the “gifts” we all bring to the table every day.
Posted in Career Tips & Strategies, Communication Tips, Emotional Intelligence, Inspirational Leadership, Navigating Change, Personal Development, Your Time & Energy
Tagged Career, happiness, inspiration, learning, optimism, Positive Psychology, Relationships, Talent Development, Visioning
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Tips for Team Coaching
As a leader in your organization, you are tasked with bringing out the best of your employees for the productivity of your company. Sounds easy but it’s tougher than it looks especially in these economic times when everyone feels stretched. But it can be done both with your direct individual reports but also your project teams or department staff.
Lifting Together Makes the Difference
Here’s how . . . use a strengths based coaching approach with powerful questions. One piece of the executive coaching program that I offer is an intensive hands-on training and practice on how to use basic coaching skills to engage and motivate employees. We start with individual one-on-one practice with employees doing their annual reviews or wanting to take their careers to that next level within the company. Coaching may also be appropriate for employees struggling with performance expectations, communication problems or interpersonal conflicts with their colleagues.
With this practice behind them, leaders move to a more complicated coaching challenge – working with their designated teams around specific outcomes. There are more moving parts including difference in personalities and communication styles that can make leading a team successfully much more challenging.
You Don’t Have to Do All the Work
But here’s the trick . . . know and use the same coaching philosophy, collaborative approach and basic powerful questions that work so well with individuals and just expand them for the larger group. Listen closely and concentrate on giving your team the space and support to contribute their ideas and strengths.
You don’t have to say much in the beginning – just get out of their way and let them do what you hired them to do. Acknowledge their wisdom with the result that you may be pleasantly surprised that with a coaching approach you’ve opened up a wealth of possibilities, creative thinking and some excellent options. And you didn’t have to do all the work!
It’s a very fast paced competitive work world. Just like this great picture of the Army moving the Red Cross tent in the pouring rain. Everyone needs to contribute their best strength, lift together and move forward to the designated goal or vision. It can work really well with the right kind of leadership – do you have what it takes?
Patience in the Rain
Have you ever come across a faithful dog waiting in the rain for its owner to return? We feel sorry for the loyal dog, but the message is a great reminder. Over the years we work in teams, committees and projects with many, many people. And as we move around the country or overseas we also live with many other people in different living situations and a variety of communities. If we are wise, we nurture the best of these relationships faithfully. We know as we continue to grow in our careers we need and want a supportive professional network of friends and colleagues that we can call in the good and bad times.
In short, we share a history together and a mutual respect for our diverse talents, skills, expertise and experiences. So when times get tough and the rain is pouring down, we know that each of us has each other’s back and we can wait in the rain for a bit. And at the end of the day, that’s all that counts – as well as our faithful four legged friends.
Choose Not to Be Afraid
At 4:45am each morning I take the dogs outside for their first potty beak and to pick up our local paper off the front driveway. As our golden retriever and westie (Snowball & Dooley) are rolling in the snow making snow angels, I am glancing at the paper’s headlines under the garage lights.
Almost without fail, the front page stories shout at me about something that is going to immediately endanger myself or my family. It can be anything from global terrorism; the national economy, our local unemployment statistics; home foreclosure rates or a whole array of looming health disasters that will kill me off before the day is done. I’m surprised I can stagger back into the house for my first cup of coffee.
Fear, worry and anxiety are epidemic in our world today. The media, our politicians and even our family & friends are telling us constantly to “be afraid” of everything and anything. Yes, there are some very real things in 2013 that we need to be concerned about but do we really have to be worried 24/7? No, we don’t!
It’s our choice – what are we going to be concerned about (in a healthy way) and what are we going to let go. It takes practice but over time each of us develops an inner “check list” of what is worth getting our “knickers in a twist” (as the Brits say) and what needs to go on the back burner. That’s when our inner voice – the language – we use in speaking to ourselves becomes critical.
My challenge to you, is to pay attention to what media generated “fear” can hook you and then be touch with yourself in choosing your response. It’s your choice. Do I retreat to my comfort zone? Second guess myself constantly? Become critical of others? Cynical of the world around me? Think about it . . . and I hope you choose to put fear in its proper place. You are in control . . . not it.