Tag Archives: millenials

3 Ways to Support Young Women in Their Careers

Women need to believe in themselves again.  In the late 1960’s to the 1980’s we saw women embracing their own self-worth and capabilities with strong confidence.  They didn’t need to be perfect but they wanted to make things happen and they did.

But then what happened?  For the past 15 – 20 years, we have steadily seen women fall off their career growth and success.  Yes, we know there are major societal and cultural barriers to women here in our country but there is something more subtle going on.  Women become their own worst critics.

These highly educated, capable young women start falling behind at almost every turning point in their career paths.  That inner voice of self-doubt becomes louder and they begin turning down opportunities to advance saying to themselves “I’m not good enough, qualified enough, and smart enough or the time just isn’t right”.   Interestingly, we don’t see the young men saying that at all – they tell themselves “I’ll learn it as I go”.  The result . . . they move ahead and advance quickly.

This disturbing trend has been well documented but has received little serious attention by human resource professionals or the leaders of growing organizations – all who are now scrambling to recruit and retain top talent especially among the millennial generation.

What can we do?  Here are three actions that HR departments and company leaders can take.

  • Establish one-on-one mentoring programs
  • Create confidential professional peer support groups
  • Teach coaching skills to all managers/supervisors.

This is just a short list – there is so much more that we all need to do to stop this talent drain.  Let’s help these young women grow their self-confidence so they can step up to critical leadership positions in their professional work and in their communities.  We need them!

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Lean In for Graduates

Lean In for Graduates: Because the World Needs You to Change It, by Sheryl Sandberg, Random House, 2014.

I have been a fan of Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, author and lecturer, for years now. Her original book, Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead, provides the foundational curriculum for our three Lean In Circles for young professional women here in Northern Nevada. Sandberg’s newest edition of her book specifically speaks to recent graduates entering today’s highly competitive and fast-moving workforce. Sandberg speaks for all of us women – she is truly inspirational.

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Robots vs. Leaders with Empathy

Speaking from my years of experience working with people, families and communities as a professional coach, trainer, psychotherapist and social worker, I’ve always appreciated that our human needs are very clear – we want to be seen, have a voice and be able to contribute in a meaningful way.

And a robot or computer simply can’t provide that connection in any significant way and never will be able to. A robot is no competition for the human touch, the human heart and the human ear.

As leaders, these subtle but critical sensibilities show up as empathy. Empathy is the core of all social & emotional intelligence: true inspirational leadership never happens without it. Empathy is the ability to see the situation from another person’s eyes and heart. It’s the ability to set aside your own agenda, to listen deeply without judgment and to be able to genuinely understand and appreciate the perspective of another.

Do all leaders have this ability? No, they do not but the ones who do are remembered for their ability to engage and inspire us to always be at our best. We will work our hearts and souls out for that leader who genuinely hears us, values us and gives us the opportunity to use our talents to contribute in meaningful ways.

Can empathy be learned? Yes, it can, with daily practice and an authentic belief and enjoyment of others. It’s part of what clearly differentiates us from any computer program, machine or data package.

A robot can’t compete or replace us when we as leaders are at our best and humanly connected to others.

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You Have a Right to a Seat at the Table

As a woman, how do you get to a position of leadership? A position of influence? A position to make a difference? It’s by having self-confidence. It’s the confidence to know that you can do it – that you are a strong and capable woman. It’s by taking that seat at the table right along with your male colleagues

As Sheryl Sandberg writes in her wonderful book, Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead, 2013, we as women unconsciously but regularly hold ourselves back from sitting at the table.

As women, we can learn a lot from men about how to embrace our own successes. For example, research shows that when men are asked about how they achieved their various successes, they give credit to themselves – to their own innate qualities, skills and yes, their potential. It’s not in an egotistical way (no one likes that) but men don’t usually minimize or excuse their abilities but rather give themselves credit where credit is due.

Now, when a woman is asked about her success, what does she say? You will hear them (or even yourself) attribute their success to external factors like “I couldn’t have done it without other people’s help” or “I had a good mentor” or the worse for self-confidence . . . “I just got lucky”.

We constantly underestimate ourselves! Does that sound familiar? And the research verifies what we as women have suspected for a long time . . . we judge our performance worse than it actually is (men judge themselves slightly better) and when we are in front of other people, we are even more critical.

Changing this kind of self-talk is long overdue – especially as we raising our talented young daughters. We truly need the best of everyone – men and women of all ages – and, yes, ourselves as well!

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TEDTalk. “Why We Have Too Few Women Leaders,” Sheryl Sandberg, 2010.

I’ve watched this first TEDTalk by Sheryl Sandberg several times and always enjoy learning something new. Sandberg is such an inspiration because she is talking about what many of us professional women have been experiencing for years – external gender cultural barriers and internal self-imposed barriers that continually impact us – often very subtly – as we move through our professional careers.

As COO of Facebook and past Google executive, Sandberg speaks from a wealth of experience both personally and professionally on these issues. She reminds us that no one ever got to a leadership position by sitting on the sidelines – and women often do.

So how do we shift these barriers? In this TED Talk, Sandberg gives us three powerful pieces of advice to get started. First, we must always “sit at the table”. Second, we need to make our partners our “full partners” at home and at work. Third, we need to be careful to not “leave before we leave”. Want to know more? Check out Sandberg’s TedTalk – it already has 5.952,700 views!

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