Category Archives: And a Bit More

Be “Interested” & “Interesting”

Bruce McGregor, age 93, is true Irishman and a delight!  Bruce is one of those people that is both “interested and interesting”.  Bruce, and his twin brother Bob, have been close friends with my Dad (also 93) for years and years.  Bob is now deceased but Bruce continues to live here in Reno and to work part-time as a calendar salesman for a local company.

So what makes Bruce special?  One always feels that you have Bruce’s undivided attention – that he is genuinely interested in you.  Even as kids, my twin sister and I always enjoyed Bruce.  He always was there with a laugh, interested questions and a secret stash of trinkets in the trunk of his car to pass out. We felt special because he made us feel special.

So years later, and even though he wears hearing aids now, Bruce can definitely keep up with any conversation over a glass of wine.  For example, Bruce joined me last week at a wonderful Northern Nevada Red Cross Wine Tasting fund raiser www.nevada.red.cross.org.  As I watched him meet and greet the significantly younger crowd I was impressed with how Bruce can engage others through his genuine interest in them.  He truly is “interested” in what others have to say.

Be Interesting as Well!

But the other side is just as important.  Bruce is “interesting” as well.  He and his twin brother traveled extensively throughout the world.  There is not a country, city, town, train, cruise etc. that Bruce can’t remember and tell you which road to take; a great restaurant to eat at and the best hotel to book.  Before any trip I make sure to consult with Bruce.  And being Irish, Bruce always knows the best deals as well!

What a treat to know Bruce and what great lessons he can teach all of us.  This is what I continue to learn from Bruce . . . to always strive to not only be genuinely “interested” in others but also to be “interesting” as well.  I need to take every opportunity to go and do – to learn and to grow.  And I encourage you to do the same.  You’ll be pleasantly surprised that others will gravitate to you and you both will enjoy the richness of each other’s experiences and lives.  That’s great for your personal life and your professional career as well.

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Community Tragedies & Resiliency

Northern Nevada has been struck with two terrible community tragedies in just the last 10 days. First, we had a random shooting in a local IHop coffee shop killing four people including three National Guard members in uniform. Many others were injured – all who just stopped by for a quick breakfast on a Tuesday morning after the Labor Day holiday. Now tonight we are hearing of multiple deaths out at the Reno Air Races from an aircraft which careened out-of-control into the public viewing stands.

The impact of these events is huge. Not only for the friends and families of the people killed and injured but for the community as a whole. Nevada has had a very difficult time with our high unemployment, high foreclosure rate and an endless stream of bad news for an economic recovery. But that’s when we rediscover resiliency . . .

Tahoe Gal BoatResiliency is Hope

One of my favorite workshops topics is about resiliency – what it is and how to keep it. Resiliency is all about hope. Resilient people intuitively believe in these three things.

First, that the situation is temporary – resilient people see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Second, they have some control over their own response to the situation. Resilient people tell themselves, and others, that we will make it through this difficult time.

Third, that they are not personally responsible for the situation occurring. They didn’t cause it. They are not to blame for it. It’s bigger than them.

How We Learn Resilience

I often ask people in my workshops this question “How did you learn to be resilient?” Often, they say they learned by just watching someone else. It was usually someone older in their family or in their community as they were growing up. Children watch and learn from those older than them – an important reminder as we are raising and mentoring younger people.

The same is true in our professional lives. And as I watch the community leaders on TV tonight, I’m looking for them to demonstrate the qualities of resiliency – that yes, this too will past and that we will handle it well. That is leadership at its best.

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Hot Air Balloons & The Bigger View

As I was driving into work early last Friday, I was caught again by surprise. Out in the distance I could see dozens of hot air balloons popping up over the hills. The annual Hot Air Balloon Races were back in Reno! And what a treat they are. I always feel a wonderful rush of good feeling – maybe it’s optimism and hope – as the balloons lift off and gently soar up and over downtown Reno and the Truckee River. I know they start my day off beautifully but I was curious . . . “What do the balloons inspire in others?”

A Different & Richer Perspective

So that was the question I posed to my “Coffee, Careers & Conversation” coaching group that morning. And I loved the answers which all related to the idea of getting up and above the normal things we see every day. When you’re able to get up high – as coaches we call this the 30,000 ft. perspective – the world looks quite different. All of a sudden, there is so much more out there.

We see things from a whole different perspective. And it’s not only what is below the balloon basket but also the richness of a full 360° view of the Sierra Nevada mountains, Lake Tahoe and the California border just beyond. We can’t help but start to think of the opportunities – the possibilities – that are out there.

And that’s what the group members were inspired to do by simply watching these hot air balloons early that Friday morning. We stand in our own way too often. But how better it is to see the bigger view and then to challenge yourself to explore, stretch and grow into new opportunities. As Dr. Seuss would say “Oh, the Places You’ll Go”!

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5 Ways to Minimize Multi-Tasking

The summer is winding down, kids are back in school and the fall work projects are ramping up. It’s so tempting to get over over committed this time of year. Doesn’t that sound familiar! But we quickly regret saying yes to so many requests – our plates are overfilled and tipping over. So we just work harder and “multi-task” even faster. But is that really effective? Many times it is not.

Downsize of Multi-Tasking

The research (and our own observation) confirm that we simply can’t do several things at once and do them well. Do you know that it takes between 9-15 minutes to refocus when you have been interruped from a task. So while you’re trying to get back to where you were you are losing valuable time and energy. We can feel our stress level going up because we’re not getting anything done well – and we’re making mistakes – silly, stupid mistakes that take even more time to fix. And it leaves us with a feeling at the end of the day “I didn’t get anything important done today.”

Beach ChairReduce Your Multi-Tasking

Resist the temptation to multi-task by practicing on concentrating on one thing at a time. Select what is most important (to your business, to your job, to your boss) and make a personal commitment to be the best that you can be by being present in the moment. Stay focused until you get the job done. Sounds simple but it’s actually takes practice, practice and more practice. Especially when you’re getting pressured to do several things at once – being pulled into other people’s urgent requests. But by managing your time and energy effectively you are doing what you’ve been hired to do. But it’s tough to resist the temptation to start juggling tasks. But this has several things that have worked for me . . .

  1. “Chuck” your time by setting aside a block of time to concentrate on one task at a time.
  2. Resist reading your email early in the morning because it pulls you away into multiple directions – many relatively unimportant.
  3. Be more realistic about how much time a task will really take and build in some extra time as well.
  4. Close your eyes when talking on the phone so that you can really concentrate.
  5. Take at least three things off your list today to minimize feeling fragmented.

So think about it . . . are you ready to resist the popular notion that multi-tasking is the way to go? If so, try these tips to see how they work for you. You will be pleasantly surprised!

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Password is a Great Challenge in Communication!

Communication never gets easier with a rollicking group of family and friends playing Password.  We pulled out our old, old game during a recent week at a lakeside cabin in Maine.  This is our favorite game to play during long summer evenings especially if  we have several generations playing at the same time.  First, this game is so old that usually no one has ever heard of it.  Second, it is so simple that all of us can get it – or so we think.  It’s kind of like Charades or Pictionary without any drawing or acting.

Divide up into teams (mix the generations to make it funnier) and then one person from each team lines up in front of the fireplace.  They are secretly given the same word from the moderator “hubby Wally”. Taking turns they are allowed to give their team members one word with the hope that their team will spontaneously guess the secret word.  The trick is to communicate with your team mates using skillful word associations and context.


Understanding Each Other’s Meaning

You won’t think it would be so difficult but understanding what someone else is saying depends on not only on the actual words being said but more importantly   with the context and association the words bring to mind.  Interesting, it’s very frequently why we have disconnects in communication.  Someone says “That’s not what I said” and the other person says “Oh, but that’s what I thought you meant”.  Each thinks they heard it right.

As I  watch our team members laugh as they struggle to guess the words I’m struck with how quickly word associations happen.  Our brains connect words with meaning almost instantaneously.  And we’re so tempted to shout out that first association as our buddy Cedric repeatedly did.  Sometimes those associations are right on and sometimes they are way off the mark.

As Leaders – Are We Talking About the Same Thing?

If you are in any kind of leadership position, realizing the power of word association is very helpful.  You may think you’re being very clear in your communication only to be surprised that your direct reports or a colleague assumed something quite different.  In most cases, it’s perfectly understandable because we hear what makes sense to us – in our own context.  So a wise leader always double checks to make sure that everyone heard the same thing.  And if you have any doubts about how complex communication is – especially between generations – just bring out that game of Password!

 

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