Category Archives: And a Bit More

Flexiability as Hurricane Irene Bears Down

The best laid plans get changed when a Category 3 hurricane is headed directly toward you.  Our family is up in Syracuse, NY to help daughter, Barbara, move back into her second year at Syracuse University.  Upstate New York is safety out of the direct aim of the hurricane but we had planned to drive south to New York City tomorrow to see oldest son, Davis, at West Point.  We don’t get that chance very often so I was really looking forward to enjoying 24 hours with him – nice dinner, great B&B and lots of laughs.  Just like lots of other people, I’m reluctant to change plans unless I really have to . . . it’s tempting just to deny that a storm is on it’s way.

First Step: Get More Information

It’s all over the news.  The TV and papers are all broadcasting that folks need to get out of the way of the torrential rains and winds – not drive straight into it.  So after that initial period of denial, I start problem solving (which all of us are quite good at) by gathering information about the storm’s path, cancellation policy at our B&B (which there is none) and updated status on airline flights out of the east coast.  Once I have that information, we can come up with a couple of backup plans.

Second Step:  Make Two Backup Plans & Enjoy the Change

Creating several backup plans requires thinking of options and alternatives.  Unfortunately, being downtown in NY City on Sunday will not be one of them.  Creating options helps us feel more in control since we have a plan and a backup plan.  And we’ve just got to acknowledge that national weather is simply out of our control but what we do with the situation is within our control.  So there will be some other good ideas which will probably be dinner with twin sister, Diane, back up in the Boston area tomorrow night.  I’ll let you know!  Racing to beat the rain for now . . .

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Kayaking in Maine: Lesson in Patience

It’s beautiful up here on a quiet pond in Maine.  My twin sister and I have organized a wonderful week for family and friends at a lakeside cabin on North Lake in Norway, Maine.  Each summer we enjoy getting everyone together to laugh and play by the water either on the West or East coast.  This time we are in western Maine filled with endless waterways and kayaks.  So as Diane and I carefully step into the bright orange kayaks early this morning it occurred to me that I’m not sure I’ve ever taken a single kayak out myself.  “Have you ever done this before?” I ask my twin. “No, I don’t think so” she responds – but we figure it can’t be hard and it wasn’t.

Practicing Patience

We paddle slowly but sometimes bump into each other kayaks because we’re still getting the rhythm of the stroking down.  I practice doing slow donuts so I can go backwards and forward as needed.  So with a bit of effort, we get going down the shoreline toward the distant mountains.   I ask her, as a family psychotherapist, what would be the personal or professional lesson that we could learn from this quiet experience of kayaking in Maine.  Diane doesn’t hesitate “Patience” she says . . .  “you’re not going anywhere too fast and that feels wonderful”.

We don’t get many times to practice patience in this way.  Smooth and steady and we’ll get there just fine.  I loved seeing the lily pads with flowers in the “secret cove”.  And then a slow donut turn and we’re headed back to our cabin, breakfast and sleeping teenagers.  How else can we practice patience?  Here’s one more way . . . being the last person to watch the bonfire die down at the end of the evening.  Just chatting and watching the flames become embers and the ash.  Now that takes patience.

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Polish Up Your First Impression!

Are you getting a bit sloppy?  Are you taking your professional image more for granted these days?  It’s easy to do when you have been in business or at the same job for a number of years.  But it is a mistake.  First impressions make a difference each and every time.  And it’s not just how we dress but how we shake hands; introduce others, our eye contact and how we listen and engage others in conversation.  Our body language sends a powerful message to others and signals them as to whether they can trust us, like us and ultimately if they should do business with us.

Watch Others at a Networking Event

Try this . . . at your next networking event stand back and just watch the folks in the room.  Watch for those that others seem to gravitate toward.  There is an energy, an enthusiasm and a synergy in the conversation.  What is that individual doing that is obviously appealing to others?  What can you learn from them?  My guess is that folks would say they feel comfortable and acknowledged – in other words – they feel connected and “safe” to just be themselves.

Wow, now that is a gift!  To be able to create that sense of positive feeling with others (and with strangers too)  is pretty impressive.  Is it hard to do?  No, not really if you are willing to honestly assess your weak spots and then actively take action to smooth out the rough edges if you’ve gotten a bit sloppy over the years.

Making That First Impression Count

During my 6 1/2 years of living in Norway (my husband was assigned to NATO), we attended many international dinner parties and social events.  I learned that I could find something in common with just about anyone even if they didn’t speak English well and I didn’t speak Norwegian, German etc.  It was a challenge at first but became a well-practiced skill and actually quite fun.  Here’s three of my favorite “lessons learned” on how to make a great first impression.

  • Practice how to meet someone gracefully – shaking hands, eye contact, remembering names.
  • Practice engaging a stranger in simple conversation – listen, ask questions, be interested.
  • Practice connecting with others by finding interests in common – “bridge topics” – pets, travel etc.

This is professional development that you can do on your own.  It’s all those basic manners that our mothers were always teaching us and that hopefully we’re passing on to our own kids.  Enjoy!

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Leave the Laptop Home!

It’s that wild moment before I dash out the door with family in tow for a long-awaited family vacation.  We’re used to that last minute dash from our years of living in Norway and traveling all over for both work and fun.  But it’s always a bit crazy trying to remember if you packed the toothbrushes, extra shorts, grabbed up the money and remembered all the bits & pieces of work that needed to be tied up.  And this time . . . the laptop stays behind.

Giving Yourself Some Space

Sometimes I take the laptop and the technology with me on travel but more and more now I choose to leave it all behind.  From experience I know that as soon as I log-in my mind clicks back to a “to-do” list and I’m back in the work mind-set. 

But I need space to rewind . . . I love owning my own business and the joy I get from both coaching and training.  But when I give myself permission to take a break I know that I’ll come back refreshed and wonderfully energized for work.  So for now the laptop will sit here on the home desk getting a well-deserved break as well.  See you all in a week!

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Clutter Just Drains Energy

It doesn’t move.  It just sits there day after day.  That’s the paper pile sitting on the corner of my desk here at home.  I’m not too sure what’s in it but hopefully nothing too important.  It’s clutter taking up space.  And when I do glance over at it, the “shoulds” start right away.  I really “should”sort it out. I “should” just take care of it once and for all.  But I just as quickly talk myself out of it because there are always more pressing “shoulds” to take care of that are more fun. 

Drains My Energy

It was an “ahah” moment when someone suggested that piles of clutter actually drain our energy.  I had never thought of it in that way.  But it makes perfect sense.  And the more I looked at the paper clutter, closet clutter, kids’ clutter, dog clutter etc.  I felt my energy being drained away.  All those “shoulds” seemed overwhelming and where would I put things anyway.

One Pile at A Time

But tonight the college kids are up at the lake and the house is quiet.  So in a moment of frenzy I tackled that paper pile, sorting and tossing like a madwoman.  It was done in about 45 minutes.  I even cleaned the top of the desk, sorted out one of the desk drawers and glanced at the bills.  Did the open space create some energy – it sure did.  I’m always a bit amazed but it actually does make a big difference.  You can see what you have and you’ve tossed anything outdated and unnecessary.  There is a noticeable uptake of energy and focus.  It feels good and I always tell myself just one pile at a time.  So tomorrow will be another pile.  It’s worth it and I may find a treasure at the bottom like an uncashed check.  You never know . . . try it!

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