Kit Prendergast, PCC
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Category Archives: Communication Tips
Story Telling is a Powerful Career Skill
Stories are wonderful! As a professional career coach, I am asked all the time how you can best present your skills, knowledge and experience to a potential (or current) employer. It’s actually quite simple. Telling an engaging story that highlights your strengths is one of the best ways to do it.
Learn How to Tell a Good Story!
Do you get a little nervous and tongue tied when asked to describe your accomplishments in job interviews, an annual performance evaluation or even in networking events? That’s normal. It’s not that you don’t have anything to say – actually you have lots to say – it’s just getting it out there smoothly, briefly and with enough pizzazz to keep your listener listening.
So try this . . . story telling. Everyone loves a good story. And people remember a good story because it creates a visual image for them. We come alive telling stories and listening to stories. Stories are very powerful but they do take planning to avoid the tale going on and on.
Here’s how to design your story for maximum impact. Think of an accomplishment in your professional life that you are particularly proud of – it’s best if it highlights your individual strengths as well as contributions from a team. Now describe it in one short paragraph using the C.A.R. format.
- C = Challenge (the challenge you faced)
- A = Action (the action you took)
- R = Results (the positive results that occurred)
Now the icing on the cake is to tie the story in with the value you can bring to this new position or the continued value you bring to your employer. This is what your listener really cares about – what can you do for them to solve the challenges they are facing.
Do one story and now do a couple of more. Create a cheat sheet for yourself with the C.A.R. format. For each story hit each of the three points briefly. Practice out loud a couple of times but don’t overdo it. You want your natural enthusiasm to come through as you’re telling the story. If you get stuck call me – I would love to help!
The Art of Conversation in Norway
It’s truly an art . . . the art of making conversation with others. And it takes skill and practice. I got the chance to practice this skill over and over while living in Norway for 6 1/2 years with my husband (US Marine) who was assigned to NATO. Nine countries were part of this NATO command and we attended many formal and informal gatherings over the years. I also had my own training and consulting business which necessitated me collaborating closely with the Norwegians and the ex-patriate international community.
But it was the formal dinner parties hosted by the NATO command that I remember best. They were beautifully planned events held at the headquarters with a mix of military representatives and their spouses attending. These dinner events always started later in the evening and didn’t conclude until well past midnight. So it was a long evening filled with real conversation – no cell phones or texting at this dinner table.
The dinner meal was quite formal and I would find myself seated next to someone new each time. I would usually have a military officer and their spouse on each side of me and another couple across from me. Although, the “official” language was English one had to respect that the other person was speaking in a 2nd or 3rd language. This is truly the art of making conversation. So this is what I became quite good at . . .
Creating a Conversation Bridge: Be Interested & Interesting
What I really learned was to be genuinely “interested” in the other person. I listened closely for who they were, what they had experienced and what I could learn from them. This created a bridge between us. People love to talk about their own lives if they feel someone is really interested – and I am. I engaged my curiosity and just listened to learn. And then I asked questions to learn more. It’s a discovery process.
And then I would be “interesting” as well. The conversation couldn’t be just one way – then everyone is bored. Before each dinner, I would consciously think of several topics that made me interesting – a recent trip, a new work project, an interest in something happening internationally, funny experiences etc. Something that I could contribute to the conversation – after all, we had at least 3 hours to converse. And don’t forget that the three taboo topics politics, sex and religion are still to be avoided in any kind of gathering where you want to make a good impression.
Now it’s been a few years since the whirlwind of living and working in Norway. But one of the many things I learned was that I can make conversation with anyone. I can always find a bridge and spark a conversation about something we have in common. So lesson learned . . . be “interested” and “interesting” and you’ll always have a fascinating dinner companion!
Posted in Communication Tips, Personal Development, Your Time & Energy
Tagged communication, cross-cultural
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Scarcity vs. Abundance Thinking
How do people stay optimistic and motivated during difficult times? Last night I had the chance to ask a group of people of mixed ages, gender and professional backgrounds that exact question. The answers came quickly. There was no hesitation. People know what works for them.
From recognizing the enjoyment of being with “like-minded” colleagues; to recognizing that we are simply a “blink” in history (and therefore need to do something now); to knowing that what we’re doing is giving a voice to people who have no voice; to believing that there is always a “light at the end of the tunnel” and to knowing that our individual efforts do matter every single day to someone else. We make a positive difference. A little wine, music and dancing got on the list as well!
Scarcity vs. Abundance Thinking
But my personal favorite was to practice abundance thinking instead of scarcity thinking. It takes practice but shifting your mindset to one of appreciating the abundance of life rather than what may be scarce in your life is very powerful.
It’s very easy to let scarcity thinking become a habit. And if you surround yourself with others who think that way then the complaining and whining really gets carried away. Fear takes over in a rapid downward spiral.
We can learn from our canine friends. Growing up in Carmel, California I walked the beach at least once a day with several dogs at my heels. And as soon as they were off their leashes they are racing down the beach. And all the dog owners would gather, chat and watch as the dogs ran and romped together. You can’t help but smile. Big dogs, little dogs, fat and skinny dogs all just enjoying the beach. They were all in the moment and totally immersed in the wealth of smells, sounds and feelings of running through the water and sand. They didn’t see what they didn’t have but rather just what they had in that moment.
We can learn from them. Take your shoes off, dig your toes in the sand and enjoy the abundance of what you have for today. Tomorrow will take care of itself . . . tomorrow.
Carrots & Sticks: Motivating Yourself & Others
Since our economic downturn began in in early 2009, I have been giving many workshops on the challenges of staying motivated and engaged when everything is changing around you. Bringing out the best in others (and in ourselves) has always been a favorite topic of mine but it has taken on more urgency in these tough times.
Motivation Isn’t That Complicated!
When people say “You can’t motivate someone else” I disagree. I think it’s actually quite easy. One just needs to understand a bit about human nature and what innately drives most of us. Pick up Daniel Pink’s book “Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us” 2009. I think you will be pleasantly surprised that you do know what motivates us and it’s not just a crunchy carrot.
For years, business has used the “carrots and sticks” style of motivating others. Reward behavior you want and punish behavior you don’t want. These extrinsic motivators can work well for routine, non-creative work that just needs to be churned out. But our 21st century world now is far more complex and challenging. And we desperately need the best and the brightest ideas and solutions. Luckily, that’s what most of us also want. We yearn to be doing interesting, creative work that makes a difference.
So here’s the challenge. Look at your work schedule for this coming week. What responsibilities, projects and tasks are coming up for you? Now, think about what excites you, what gets your energy going, what do you think is well-worth your time. You are very likely most motivated when doing those activities because they satisfy our deeply human needs of autonomy, mastery and purpose. These intrinsic motivators are:
- To direct our own lives (autonomy)
- To learn & create new things (mastery)
- To do better by ourselves & our world (purpose)
Now ask yourself, “How could I bring more of what really motivates me into my work week?” Start by making small shifts. Keep up the momentum by acknowledging your progress each night. When you hop into bed ask yourself “Was I better today than yesterday?” Try it. It works!
Freshening Up the Look of Your Website
Freshening up the look of your website every couple of years is really important. And it’s much easier now that many of us are using Word Press or a similar platform. My wonderful webmaster/media expert, Judith Harlan, Web Words That Work, has been encouraging me for years to switch to a platform that would allow me to make my own changes easily and quickly. I was very hesitant since technology is a steep, time intensive learning curve for me. But finally with no more excuses left and both feet dragging I agreed to the switch.
And what a pleasant surprise! It’s as easy (relatively) as Judith promised it would be. And since I had been using the Word Press platform for my blog these last six months I was familiar with the general layout. It still takes time. Each page needs to be updated – new content, new pictures. But it gives me a chance to review and refresh what I offer in both the coaching and training areas.
New Look Brings Out the Best in You
By reworking your website you can communicate the best of what you have to offer. Your website is an electronic career portfolio telling others what you do, how you do it and the value that you bring others. Make it colorful. Make it welcoming. And make sure that your voice comes through on every page. That is what engages others and encourages them to contact you. So taking this time to freshen up my website has been well-worth it. And switching to a platform that allows me full control is pretty neat. Now back to my updates . . .