Kit Prendergast, PCC
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Tag Archives: resiliency
Fire & Ice Again in Northern Nevada
I’ve been writing about resiliency, hope and optimism in this blog weaving in real life stories. Here is another example of how our routine lives can suddenly be changed forever. Here’s what happened.
Fire . . . just when we thought Northern Nevada was through with its share of community crises another huge wild fire hit Reno last Thursday afternoon, January 19th. The winds were blowing at 80 miles an hour with gusts of over 100 miles an hour – not terribly unusual for our upper desert. But one accidental spark over in Washoe Valley was enough to begin a fire that burned 3,700 acres of rugged sagebrush; ranch land, horse pastures and 20+ houses.
As a wall of fire crested the ridge right above our local high school and just down from our house my husband and I zipped over to help our good friend, Yvonna Estep, evacuate her home. Within minutes Yvonna, along with all her neighbors, was packing up her dog, cats and personal belongings into her car as the police were going door to door enforcing the mandatory evacuation. We left a hastily scribbled note on the door saying the house had been evacuated – important for the final sweep. As for us there was no time to waste . . .
Ice . . . the irony was that it was snowing so hard on the Donner Summit that it was difficult for the California Interstate Fire Services to make it over the mountains to help Reno. After all, fire trucks usually don’t carry snow chains. I never heard the end of the story but I’m sure they finally made it – they always do.
So later that night, over a glass of wine, we huddled around the news to learn that temperatures had dropped and with the beginning of a snowstorm down here in the valley the fire was being contained. It took another full 24 hours for the highway between Reno and Carson City to be reopened up for local residents to return to their homes. When I drove through on Sunday morning the rebuilding had already begun.
This is our 5th major community crisis for Northern Nevada in as many months. We’ve been on national news too many times. But no doubt Nevada is resilient and will rebuild. That’s hope and optimism. And there’s truly never a dull moment in Northern Nevada.
“Resiliency” at Friday’s Beer Club
It’s Friday night at our regular beer club gathering and we’re having a lively conversation about a recent workshop I had given on “employee fatigue”. Several people were weighing in on the complexities of today’s work world and the resulting stress of trying to keep up in order to keep one’s job. Lots of ideas were being tossed out along with the rounds of beer.
I introduced the idea of teaching ourselves resiliency. One of our colleagues, who had had a tough day at work, questioned what resiliency really was – did it even exist? I assured him that yes, it does and what a gift it is for those that have it.
What is “Resiliency” Anyway?
Emotional resiliency is simply the ability to successfully respond and adapt to difficult life situations. Resiliency is a subtle, quiet quality that one might not notice or appreciate unless they are looking for it. Resilient people often don’t even know they possess that quality – it’s just the way they’ve learned to see and cope with life. Resiliency is actually a learned skill that improves with age, practice and experience.
Learning How to be Resilient
The best way to learn how to develop your own resiliency is to watch others. In my workshops, I ask people how they learned to be resilient. Almost always they say it came from watching someone close to themselves – maybe a parent, grandparent or someone in a mentor role. .They may have also learned by going through multiple tough times themselves. Additionally, they do these five things:
- Acknowledge the Reality & Move On
- Expect Change & Be Ready to Adapt
- Stay Connected with Others Everyday
- Learn From Past Experiences
- Find a Bigger Meaning & Purpose in Life
It sounds like alot. How does one do this? it takes self-awareness and the willingness to practice seeing and living life from a different perspective. And a key component is emotional optimism. A resilient person is an optimist person. See my next blog for my favorite tips on how to self-coach yourself to be more optimistic and therefore, more resilient over the long run.
Community Tragedies & Resiliency
Northern Nevada has been struck with two terrible community tragedies in just the last 10 days. First, we had a random shooting in a local IHop coffee shop killing four people including three National Guard members in uniform. Many others were injured – all who just stopped by for a quick breakfast on a Tuesday morning after the Labor Day holiday. Now tonight we are hearing of multiple deaths out at the Reno Air Races from an aircraft which careened out-of-control into the public viewing stands.
The impact of these events is huge. Not only for the friends and families of the people killed and injured but for the community as a whole. Nevada has had a very difficult time with our high unemployment, high foreclosure rate and an endless stream of bad news for an economic recovery. But that’s when we rediscover resiliency . . .
Resiliency is Hope
One of my favorite workshops topics is about resiliency – what it is and how to keep it. Resiliency is all about hope. Resilient people intuitively believe in these three things.
First, that the situation is temporary – resilient people see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Second, they have some control over their own response to the situation. Resilient people tell themselves, and others, that we will make it through this difficult time.
Third, that they are not personally responsible for the situation occurring. They didn’t cause it. They are not to blame for it. It’s bigger than them.
How We Learn Resilience
I often ask people in my workshops this question “How did you learn to be resilient?” Often, they say they learned by just watching someone else. It was usually someone older in their family or in their community as they were growing up. Children watch and learn from those older than them – an important reminder as we are raising and mentoring younger people.
The same is true in our professional lives. And as I watch the community leaders on TV tonight, I’m looking for them to demonstrate the qualities of resiliency – that yes, this too will past and that we will handle it well. That is leadership at its best.
Be Welcoming, A Valuable Tip from Starbucks
Recently, I had the opportunity to visit the Starbucks Coffee distribution center located here in Northern Nevada. With beautiful views of the Carson Valley mountains, this distribution center is a huge operation shipping coffee throughout the western region. As I waited in the lobby, I was intrigued to read the Starbucks’ mission statement posted on the wall. Was it just words or does the organization really do what they say they believe in?
Within minutes I had my answer – yes, they really have a warm and welcoming culture that radiates out from all the interactions between HR, supervisors and the employees or “partners”. It’s not only words on the wall here at the distribution center but in every Starbucks store I’ve visited across the country. This core philosophy of “Be Welcoming” is included in The Starbucks’ Five Ways of Being which is captured in a pocket-sized book called The Green Apron Book given to each partner.
I love this idea . . . and how often we forget that being welcoming is not only critical to attracting new clients but to keeping our current and past clients engaged with us. Starbucks defines “be welcoming” as “offering everyone a sense of belonging”. It’s creating that sense of genuine connection (not just a transaction) that we all naturally want with others. Here are a few simple ways we can provide this in our own businesses and professional work.
- Learn people’s names – remember & use them always
- Listen to at’s important to people in both their personal & work lives
- Be flexible in responding to people’s needs – everyone is different
- Do a little extra for others – you will be appreciated and remembered
- Stay in touch – don’t ignore people once they start to do business with you.
Flexiability as Hurricane Irene Bears Down
The best laid plans get changed when a Category 3 hurricane is headed directly toward you. Our family is up in Syracuse, NY to help daughter, Barbara, move back into her second year at Syracuse University. Upstate New York is safety out of the direct aim of the hurricane but we had planned to drive south to New York City tomorrow to see oldest son, Davis, at West Point. We don’t get that chance very often so I was really looking forward to enjoying 24 hours with him – nice dinner, great B&B and lots of laughs. Just like lots of other people, I’m reluctant to change plans unless I really have to . . . it’s tempting just to deny that a storm is on it’s way.
First Step: Get More Information
It’s all over the news. The TV and papers are all broadcasting that folks need to get out of the way of the torrential rains and winds – not drive straight into it. So after that initial period of denial, I start problem solving (which all of us are quite good at) by gathering information about the storm’s path, cancellation policy at our B&B (which there is none) and updated status on airline flights out of the east coast. Once I have that information, we can come up with a couple of backup plans.
Second Step: Make Two Backup Plans & Enjoy the Change
Creating several backup plans requires thinking of options and alternatives. Unfortunately, being downtown in NY City on Sunday will not be one of them. Creating options helps us feel more in control since we have a plan and a backup plan. And we’ve just got to acknowledge that national weather is simply out of our control but what we do with the situation is within our control. So there will be some other good ideas which will probably be dinner with twin sister, Diane, back up in the Boston area tomorrow night. I’ll let you know! Racing to beat the rain for now . . .