Tag Archives: teams

You Have a Right to a Seat at the Table

As a woman, how do you get to a position of leadership? A position of influence? A position to make a difference? It’s by having self-confidence. It’s the confidence to know that you can do it – that you are a strong and capable woman. It’s by taking that seat at the table right along with your male colleagues

As Sheryl Sandberg writes in her wonderful book, Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead, 2013, we as women unconsciously but regularly hold ourselves back from sitting at the table.

As women, we can learn a lot from men about how to embrace our own successes. For example, research shows that when men are asked about how they achieved their various successes, they give credit to themselves – to their own innate qualities, skills and yes, their potential. It’s not in an egotistical way (no one likes that) but men don’t usually minimize or excuse their abilities but rather give themselves credit where credit is due.

Now, when a woman is asked about her success, what does she say? You will hear them (or even yourself) attribute their success to external factors like “I couldn’t have done it without other people’s help” or “I had a good mentor” or the worse for self-confidence . . . “I just got lucky”.

We constantly underestimate ourselves! Does that sound familiar? And the research verifies what we as women have suspected for a long time . . . we judge our performance worse than it actually is (men judge themselves slightly better) and when we are in front of other people, we are even more critical.

Changing this kind of self-talk is long overdue – especially as we raising our talented young daughters. We truly need the best of everyone – men and women of all ages – and, yes, ourselves as well!

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Creating Positive Energy as a Leader

As a leader, do you bring positive energy into the room or do you drain it as soon as you walk in? Think about it . . . you may have a good sense of what emotional impact you have on others or maybe you don’t have a clue.

Why is it even important? A core competency for any leader in any capacity is their ability to connect positively with others up and down their organization’s structure. These leaders bring an energy, optimism and a sense of hope to their work and relationships. This positive connection expands into an ability to engage and influence others in the mission and desired outcomes of the company, organization or team effort. People gravitate very naturally to this kind of leader.

But how do we as individual leaders develop this competency for ourselves? It’s so easy to slip back to the doom and gloom of everyday work life. Neuroscientists tell us this is actually how our brains are hard-wired – for basic survival – but our world has changed and we need to change our thinking as well.

Here are my favorite three ways to practice changing these old thinking habits:

First, when you wake up tomorrow morning think of 3 things that you are thankful for or grateful for in this new day. These are the lenses through which you will see everything that will happen during your day – a perspective of abundance rather than scarcity.

Second, do a small act of kindness today – and don’t mention it to anyone.

Third, when you go to bed tonight think of 3 things that went well during that day – not what you didn’t get done or what went wrong but rather What Went Well (WWW) (Seligman).

As a leader in any capacity, these simple daily practices will help you refocus on what is going well and restore a sense of positive energy that will ripple out, increasing your ability to engage and influence others.

Try it and let me know what happens!

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How to Begin Asking Powerful Questions

What is your favorite question to be asked? What question or questions can someone ask you that engage you right away in a meaningful conversation? And what signals do you pick up that tell you this individual is genuinely interested in you?

It’s a gift when someone is truly curious about us and interested in learning about what we think. And it’s even more unusual for someone to be willing to listen deeply to what we have to say without interrupting with their own agenda or opinions. When we feel “safe” in those conversations we can relax and be ourselves. And just as importantly, we can share our own wisdom freely.

As leaders in today’s rapidly changing world, we all need the very best of everyone at the table. We can’t afford to ignore or minimize the strengths of those we work with simply because we don’t know how to ask the right questions at the right time. But how do we know what to ask and when?

Here’s how to start . . .

First, know that people are naturally “resourceful and whole”. This is a core belief of coaching and challenges us as leaders to create safe conversations for others to bring their best ideas, energy and focus to mutually desired outcomes.

Second, step into your curiosity. Be quiet, mindful and simply curious. Start the conversation off with a “What” question or a “How” question. Avoid “Why” questions because they often have the unintended result of creating defensive feelings. Examples of questions are:

  • “What have you already been thinking of?”
  • “What would that look like?”
  • “How will you know you/we are successful?”
  • “What is the opportunity/challenge here?”
  • “What is your professional assessment/recommendation?”

Third, listen deeply without interrupting, especially if the other person is more introverted. These questions are some of my favorite.

  • “What else?”
  • “What is the part that isn’t yet clear?”
  • “What other resources/planning do you need?”
  • “What is getting in the way of your success/movement ahead?”

Finally, ask several questions directed to action steps and accountability. That’s the easy part for leaders who are strong problem solvers. Remember to stay curious and ask how they want to move forward. Listen for their wisdom – that’s why you hired them!

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You Are Strong! What Your Hands, Head and Heart Already Know

soy fuerte workshop-1 How do you help someone else recognize their own strengths? Their own potential? To believe in themselves and their future when the odds are against them?

This was the challenge when our team of Global Volunteers was asked to design and deliver a motivational workshop for the teenage boys aging out of their orphanage in Lima, Peru. They had lived there for years and now they would be on their own in just a few short months.

Would they recognize their unique strengths and be able to use those assets to achieve the future they wanted for themselves? How could we help set them up for success, and do it in a second language, with limited training supplies and in just 45 minutes?

It was actually the boys talking about their passion for soccer that sparked the idea of using a simple picture of a hand, a head and a heart to capture their individual strengths. Our goal was to have each young man recognize and appreciate his own foundation of unique strength.

soy fuerte workshop-2Here’s how we did it in five simple steps – so simple but so powerful – and you can do the same with any young person in any life circumstance.

  1. Start with a large piece of white paper for each teen and several colored pencils. In the left bottom corner, ask them to outline their hand with outstretched fingers. On each finger, ask them to write a skill or strength that they have with their hands. (For example: soccer, art/drawing, cooking, electrical repair, wood working, etc.)
  2. Next, ask them to draw a picture of their face or head in the upper middle page. Ask them to write down their “head” strengths, usually from their schooling (math, writing, music, etc.)
  3. Finally, ask them to draw a picture of their heart in the lower right corner of the page. Here they write their “heart” strengths like courage, persistence, faith, etc.
  4. Connect the three pictures (hand, head & heart) with a triangle and ask them to write “Soy Fuerte” or “I Am Strong” in the center.
  5. From here, you can flip the paper over and help them identify their future or dream jobs and finally, what resources they will need to use to achieve those goals.

Did it work? Yes! Very Well.

It was amazing to see how quickly the teenage boys grasped these concepts of interpersonal strengths and were able to apply them directly to their future. We were amazed and so inspired by their courage and spirit. Thank you boys for allowing us to be part of your journey!

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Figuring Out the Health of Your Organization

How healthy is your organization? … That’s a good question. Your company may be business “smart” in how it handles its finances, marketing, technology etc. but is it equally focused on maximizing the strengths, expertise and emotional intelligence of its employees?

And how can you tell that? Intuitively, people know if their organization is genuinely healthy in ways that really matter most to them. It’s actually pretty simple. Here are my favorite 5 ways to assess your own company’s health (or team). Many additional ways are described by Patrick Lencioni in his book, The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else in Business; he gives us a wealth of insights into this fascinating idea of organization health.

5 Things Easy to Observe:

  1. Relatively low employee turnover. People want to work for you!
  2. Employees genuinely speak well of you and the company out of your hearing.
  3. There is a positive energy in the air – very little drama or unproductive complaining.
  4. People show up and are engaged beyond their basic job descriptions.
  5. Leaders are involved and available at every level.

What rating would you give your own company? Your own team? Challenge yourself to improve!

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