Category Archives: Navigating Change

Zumba! At Least I’m There

Okay, somehow I got talked into taking a Zumba dance class by my college-age very athletic niece and daughter.  So I’m a reluctant participant although there are lots of people there including several young guys who weren’t doing much better than me.  But I’m willing to give it a try although I warned the girls to not laugh at me ’cause at least I’m there.

I actually work out all the time and have for years (longer than those girls have been alive!).  I do weights, machines and strength classes so I’m pretty good at following the leader.  But this class is a step up – there are no directions from the instructor just lots of moving, bumping and grinding.  It’s the ultimate “Simon Says” game with no “says”.  But the music is great and the crowd is enthusiastic

Doing Something Different

So as I’m bobbing and weaving to the music, I’m thinking that this is good – it’s good to stretch the comfort zone and try something different.  I prefer knowing what to do when but with a little practice I probably can get a few of these steps learned.  I remind myself that encouraging ourselves to stretch and grow is critical for handling the bigger changes in our lives. We need regular practice in adapting to what’s new and perhaps a bit uncomfortable.  Ouch, just stepped on my own toe.

We Don’t Have to Be Perfect

I don’t have to have this Zumba stuff down perfectly.  I’m there with my girls and that’s good enough.  And I’m a big believer in the old saying “Showing up is 80% of success”.  We don’t have to be perfect – and we can’t be even close to perfect when we try something different.  And that’s okay.  So when these girls are collapsing on the floor with laughter, I kindly remind them that “Yes, you too will be my age someday” and  “at least I’m here”!

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Going Through Change “Backwards”

It might surprise you but we usually go through transitions in our lives “backwards”.  As I told you in my last blog “a change” and “a transition” are very different.  A change is an external event and a transition is the internal psychological adjustment to the change.  So the challenge is not the change but rather the emotional transition and that varies greatly depending on the timing, intensity, impact and duration of the change.  So what do I mean by going through this process by backwards? 

3 Phases of Transition

William Bridges, author of numerous books on transitions, explains that there are three phases of a psychological transition.  These are:

  • The Ending
  • The Neutral Zone
  • The New Beginning

We don’t start with embracing the new beginning as many would think.  It’s perfectly normal (and healthy) to recognize and deal with the losses of what is ending first before being able to move on to that Neutral Zone and then finally into the New Beginning.  Think about changes you’ve had in the past.  Maybe a new job, a move to a new community or maybe a new relationship.  It’s critical to “let go” of that all identity, routine and comforts before being able to move on to that new beginning.

The Whirlwind of the Neutral Zone

The middle phase is one of great turmoil but also of opportunity.  The old ways are gone but in its place is the chance for new growth.  This is the phase that we see that entrepreneur spirit – the creation of new and exciting ventures.  Think of yourself and also of your business in times of change.  I bet you were far more willing to try something new during this whirlwind of the middle phase.  It’s an opportunity – embrace it!

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Change & Transition: Knowing the Difference

Being notified that you are being laid off is a big change in your life.  And it’s even a bigger psychological adjustment if you weren’t planning on a forced vacation quite yet.  I just came back from giving a workshop on “Career Transitions” for staff in higher education facing layoffs.  I always start with helping folks understand the difference between change & transition and then the three phases of transition.  That foundation seems to be very reassuring because it shows people the path through their feelings of anxiety and uncertainty.   

Change is a Challenge

Managing the many changes in our lives is an ongoing challenge.  Hopefully, we get better at it as we get older.  We’ve been around the block a few times and we know that yes, things do work out with a bit of patience and proactive effort.  But it’s also important to recognize why sometimes a change (like a new job or a move to a new house) is relatively easy but then when the exact same change happens a couple of years later it is much harder.  Why?

The Difference Between Change & Transition

William Bridges, author of Transitions,  has written extensively on change and  transition. I love his material and have used it in every workshop I give on change management.  Bridges first explains that a “change” is an external event.  Examples are: a move, new job, new baby, getting married, going to college, a death etc.  And we may experience the same change  several times throughout our lives. 

That’s not the hard part.  The challenge is the psychological adjustment to the change.  That is the internal “transition”.  And the psychological adjustment to the exact same change may vary greatly at different times in our lives.

Why Is It So Hard Sometimes?

Several factors make the difference.  The timing of the change – is it “on-time” or “off-time”?  Was the change expected or did it come “out-of-the-blue”?  Does the change impact many areas of your life?  Is it a temporary or permanent change?  Do you have control over the change or not?  These are some of the factors that directly affect how we psychologically adjust to a change in our lives. 

Think about this for yourself.  Look at several changes that you have recently experienced.  How did you adjust to them? What seemed to make the difference?  In my next blog I’ll tell you about the three phases of transition – it might surprise you how we often go through transitions “backwards”.

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Layoffs: The Stress of Waiting

Over the last few days, I’ve talked to several people waiting to hear about possible layoffs.  It’s the end of the fiscal year and either they will be laid off  July 1st or not.  The waiting is the hardest.  Even for the most resilient and optimistic people this suspenseful time of not knowing is very difficult.

Employment changes are always challenging.  The “What Ifs” take over and you can find yourself imagining and worrying about all kinds of scenarios.  “What if I can’t find another job?”  “What if I have to move?”  “What if I can’t pay my mortgage?”  These may be very realistic concerns and the worry can quickly escalate especially in the middle of the night.

Taking Control of the Uncontrollable

The stress of the unknown is really all about control.  When you or your spouse is facing a layoff it’s easy to feel that you have little control over your future.  And that may be true as it relates to your paid employment.  But what about the rest of your life?  You (and only you) have control over that and once you take back that control there is a ripple effect on your paid work as well.  Here are three steps to get you started.

First, what isn’t changing in your life? List out the  main areas of your life (health, family &, friends, employment, hobbies, community etc.) that you spend time and energy.  I like to use the image of the 5 Olympic Circles because they connect creating synergy between the circles. And it keeps it simple with the 5 main areas of my “whole” life.

Second, have a realistic talk with yourself.  Are these other areas really changing significantly? Sometimes yes, but many times they are staying relatively the same.  Life goes on with many of the same routines and traditions – that’s actually quite reassuring.

Third, make a Plan B and a Plan C.  Have backup plans if you are laid off.  Know your options. Get an accurate picture of your financial situation.  You may be pleasantly surprised that it’s better than you had imagined.

Taking Control is Empowering

This is a new life chapter which you can design for yourself.  In my work as a career coach, I’m seeing people take this opportunity to create new career paths that they previously never thought possible.  Yes, a forced change such as a layoff is unsettling and disruptive.  But remember, that in the midst of chaos is the opportunity for incredible growth and possibilities.  It’s exciting and the sense of taking back control is incredibly empowering.

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Building Strategic Alliances

Just yesterday I was reminded again about how wise it is for business people to actively build strategic alliances.  I had gotten a message through LinkedIn from a new licensed clinical social worker who was just starting her practice here in Reno.  She had gotten my name through a mutual colleague and wanted to meet me over coffee.  She explained that she was interested in my coaching work and wanted to share what she was doing – and then maybe we could refer to each other as needed. 

What’s the Benefit for Me?

Was I interested?  Absolutely!  First, I love to meet new professionals that are starting their own businesses.  I want to see them succeed and if I can encourage and support them I certainly will.  Second, I am always updating my own referral list – for local counselors, resume writers and consultants with specific expertise that I don’t have.  I enjoy being known as a “go-to” person and I’m delighted to connect others with those that can help them.   It’s a win-win for all of us.

How To: Building Strategic Alliances

Building strategic alliances that are mutually beneficial is a practiced skill.  It is identifying what you need to be more successful (just as this woman did), what someone else needs to be equally successful and then forming a strategic alliance to make that happen.  And it’s just as important to form these alliances inside an organization if you’re working for someone else as it is when you have your own business.  Here’s how to begin:

  • Identify 3 areas you want to improve or expand in your work
  • Ask around . . . “Who else does this kind of work?”
  • Keep asking to see who knows who – can you get a personal introduction?
  • Reach out and invite the individual to coffee – see if there is a positive energy between you
  • And then explore “How can we help each other be more successful?”

My Challenge to You

It’s the summer and work schedules are often more relaxed.  This is a perfect time to build contacts and relationships.  My challenge to you is to take this time to reach out and get to know at least three new professionals working in related fields.  Choose people that you think you would genuinely enjoy and that you see a possibility of your work mutually benefiting each other.  If one out of the three works out that is great success.  And then let me know how it goes!

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