Category Archives: Your Time & Energy

A Road Trip is Good for Your Spirit

As I get ready to head out tomorrow morning to Santa Fe, New Mexico, I’m reminded how good it is for us to take a road trip every now and then.  You may be driving, flying or even taking a train.  It doesn’t matter because it’s all  good for your body, mind and spirit.  And it is critical to helping stay balanced in this somewhat unbalanced world.

Getting Out the Door

Yes, it’s always a bit of a rush to clean off the desk at work, answer those emails, pay some last-minute bills and get that boarding pass before racing to the airport at “o-dark hundred” to catch your flight to anywhere. And sometimes I’ve felt like it’s not even worth it especially in past years when as a psychotherapist I had so many patients to care for before and after any trip.  But I always knew that it’s all worth it as the plane lifts off and you slip into that delicious space of being “in-between” the here and the there.

I like flying and I like airports.  It must come from the years of living overseas and going in and out of many European airports.  I usually had two small children at my heels or on my hip but it all seemed doable since we were are another “road trip”.  And after the darkness and steady rain of Norway any road trip seemed great to me!

Celebrating 11 – 11 – 11

So off I go in the early am to meet my twin sister, Diane, to celebrate our birthday 11-11-11 in this wonderful community of Santa Fe and Taos.  Why are we going there?  We’ve never been – it’s that simple.  We’ll make some fun memories (as we always do) and I think it will remind us of Carmel, California (where we grew up) and Italy/Portugal where we have traveled often.  Delicious food, a little wine and some shopping will be just perfect and when I return to the office next week my body, mind and spirit will be renewed and refreshed.  I recommend it highly for all of us!

 

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Rocks, Sand & Your Time

I’m delighted that Les Murray from the New England Chocolate Company, Salisbury, MA sent me the following time management tip this week.  Les is a regular reader of my blog “Conversations with Kit” and along with his wife, Jayne Murray, are chocolate extraordinaire entrepreneurs at www.newenglandchocolatecompany.com.

I’ve used this time management visual in my past training classes and totally agree with Les that this is a wonderful way to think about prioritizing your time and energy.  You may have even seen it done in a time management class – it’s been around for awhile.  I like visuals like this because we remember them better over the years and this truly is one of the best.

Here’s how it goes . . . the class instructor starts with asking you to think about what “Big Roles” you fulfill at this time in your personal and professional life.  These may be as a mother/father; spouse; son/daughter; business owner; employee; student; community volunteer etc.  Next, list for yourself several smaller things that also fill up your daily life but are not considered “big”.  Examples may be time you spend paying bills, doing household chores, doing errands, sorting paper clips etc.

The class instructor then takes out a big jar, some sand and some rocks.  He explains that the small things are represented by the sand and he then pours the sand in the jar.  It fills up quickly.  Now he asks the class participants to assign their big roles to each one of the rocks.  After that is done, he tries to put the rocks in the jar.  But there is no room – the sand has taken up all the space.  What to do?  The class discusses this and quickly decides to take the sand out and then put the rocks in to the now empty jar.  The rocks go in first – the big roles that each class participant identified that they most cared about.  Now the instructor pours in the sand and you guessed it, the sand fits quite  easily around the rocks.

And in Les’ words . . . “the moral to the story is that each one of us only has 24 hours/day, 7 days per week.  We sleep 8, we work 8 and there are 8 hours that we have for ourselves.  If we allow the “sand”  to fill our lives then we never have any time for our larger roles, those that we care most about.” Les goes on to remind us again to plan our time and energy carefully so that we are doing what is really important to us in this chapter of our lives – like  eating wonderful Belgium chocolates from the New England Chocolate Company!

 

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The Art of Conversation in Norway

It’s truly an art . . . the art of making conversation with others.  And it takes skill and practice.  I got the chance to practice this skill over and over while living in Norway for 6 1/2 years with my husband (US Marine) who was assigned to NATO. Nine countries were part of this NATO command and we attended many formal and informal gatherings over the years.  I also had my own training and consulting business which necessitated me collaborating closely with the Norwegians and the ex-patriate international community.

But it was the formal dinner parties hosted by the NATO command that I remember best.  They were beautifully planned events held at the headquarters with a mix of military representatives and their spouses attending. These dinner events always started later in the evening and didn’t conclude until well past midnight. So it was a long evening filled with real conversation – no cell phones or texting at this dinner table.

The dinner meal was quite formal and I would find myself seated next to someone new each time.  I would usually have a military officer and their spouse on each side of me and another couple across from me. Although, the “official” language was English one had to respect that the other person was speaking in a 2nd or 3rd language.  This is truly the art of making conversation.  So this is what I became quite good at . . .

Creating a Conversation Bridge:  Be Interested & Interesting

What I really learned was to be genuinely “interested” in the other person.  I listened closely for who they were, what  they had experienced and what I could learn from them.  This created a bridge between us.  People love to talk about their own lives if they feel someone is really interested – and I am.  I engaged my curiosity and just listened to learn. And then I asked questions to learn more.  It’s a discovery process.

And then I would be “interesting” as well.  The conversation couldn’t be just one way – then everyone is bored.  Before each dinner, I would consciously think of several topics that made me interesting – a recent trip, a new work project, an interest in something happening internationally, funny experiences etc.  Something that I could contribute to the conversation – after all, we had at least 3 hours to converse.  And don’t forget that the three taboo topics politics, sex and religion are still to be avoided in any kind of gathering where you want to make a good impression.

Now it’s been a few years since the whirlwind of living and working in Norway.  But one of the many things I learned was that I can make conversation with anyone.  I can always find a bridge and spark a conversation about something we have in common.  So lesson learned . . . be “interested” and “interesting” and you’ll always have a fascinating dinner companion!

 

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Employee Fatigue!

Recently, I have been writing about Job Search Fatigue (for those bone weary job seekers) and Small Business Fatigue (for those business owners struggling to keep their doors open).  But there is another group equally fatigued that is easily overlooked.  I call these folks the “Last Ones Standing”.  The employees that didn’t get laid off but were either shuffled into new positions or left holding down several job responsibilities. They don’t get much empathy or attention. No one is really interested in their stories because, after all, they still have a job.

But maybe many of these employees are more tired that anyone.  Everything has changed including losing familiar colleagues and work identities.  And they have far less control over their daily work priorities and schedules that the business owners or the job seekers. Would anyone like to switch positions? Maybe not but the feeling of fatigue is epidemic for all three groups.

7 Strategies to Manage the Fatigue

So how do you manage the fatigue, stay optimistic and motivated day after day?  Here are 7 strategies to do just that – and these work equally well for the job seeker, small business owner and that last employee standing.

  • Take care of yourself physically & emotionally (sleep, diet, exercise and positive relationships).
  •  Ask yourself “What do I want for myself at this time in my life?” Ask yourself again.
  • Rethink your expectations of yourself especially ones that bring stress into your life
  • Set intermediate goals for yourself & celebrate when you achieve them
  • Decide what your priorities are – what is negotiable and nonnegotiable
  • Be willing to change, change and change again
  • Stay active, engaged and focused!

Be patient with yourself.  You know what works for you and what you need to do to manage the fatigue factor for yourself.  If you get stuck, reach out to others.  Lots of others are feeling the same and also have good answers.

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Small Business Fatigue!

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a blog on Job Search Fatigue focused on job seekers who were truly exhausted after months of dedicated job searching.  The topic hit a cord with many.  But it was not only job seekers but also small business owners that responded with their own stories.  They described a very similar fatigue that has resulted in some owners simply closing their doors or scaling back their businesses to a skeleton operation. Many have taken on other jobs – full or part-time – to just pay the bills leaving little time to nurture their own businesses.

These owners have been riding a roller coaster of economic news since early 2009 – coming up on three years.  Sometimes it’s up and sometimes it’s down. They don’t discourage easily but they will admit that it’s been exhausting for those sole proprietors in the service industries; small family-run businesses and those slightly larger businesses with a handful of employees. There’s just not much room for extended financial losses.

A Powerful Shift in Perspective & Expectations

Over this past weekend, my career coach colleague, Ann Boyer, M.ED, CCMC suggested shifting our perspective and expectations to be more in alignment with the changes in today’s work world.  As we talked, we identified a powerful shift in mind set that might just work for you.

So here is something to think about.  It is a different way to approach your business growth next year.  It is a shift in both your perspective and your expectations.  I’m assuming that you’ve pared things down as much as you can – you are slim and trim and still in business.

So start with you having an honest chat with yourself and ask “Do I really want to stay in business?”  And if that answer is unequivocally “yes” that you have your end goal.  You have the entrepreneur heart!

Next, set the financial expectations aside as much as you can.  If you can pay for your rent, your overhead costs and essential house expenses you’re good to go.  Worrying about the money, the bills and how things have changed only drains your mental and physical energy.  You are reacting from fear and it only holds you back.

3 Ways to Continue to Be a “Valuable Presence”

So for now shift your energy and focus on becoming “a valuable presence” in your community.  You actually may have several communities – local, virtual, professional networks etc.  But concentrate on your “presence”.  You are still here and you’re going to stay.

Do this by concentrating on providing value each day, week and month to your communities.  Here’s three ways to do this – do all three since they build and compliment each other.

  1. Stay Active (with colleagues, organizations, activities etc.)
  2. Stay Engaged (put energy & enthusiasm into everything)
  3. Stay Focused (know what is important to you – avoid detours)

And remember you bring “value” in part because you still are here and you provide history and continuity to your community.  And on a good day, whip up a list (or send out a survey monkey) of all the value you bring to your customers, your colleagues, bosses etc.  You will be pleasantly surprised how others see and appreciate your value over the long run!

 

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