Category Archives: Your Time & Energy

Password is a Great Challenge in Communication!

Communication never gets easier with a rollicking group of family and friends playing Password.  We pulled out our old, old game during a recent week at a lakeside cabin in Maine.  This is our favorite game to play during long summer evenings especially if  we have several generations playing at the same time.  First, this game is so old that usually no one has ever heard of it.  Second, it is so simple that all of us can get it – or so we think.  It’s kind of like Charades or Pictionary without any drawing or acting.

Divide up into teams (mix the generations to make it funnier) and then one person from each team lines up in front of the fireplace.  They are secretly given the same word from the moderator “hubby Wally”. Taking turns they are allowed to give their team members one word with the hope that their team will spontaneously guess the secret word.  The trick is to communicate with your team mates using skillful word associations and context.


Understanding Each Other’s Meaning

You won’t think it would be so difficult but understanding what someone else is saying depends on not only on the actual words being said but more importantly   with the context and association the words bring to mind.  Interesting, it’s very frequently why we have disconnects in communication.  Someone says “That’s not what I said” and the other person says “Oh, but that’s what I thought you meant”.  Each thinks they heard it right.

As I  watch our team members laugh as they struggle to guess the words I’m struck with how quickly word associations happen.  Our brains connect words with meaning almost instantaneously.  And we’re so tempted to shout out that first association as our buddy Cedric repeatedly did.  Sometimes those associations are right on and sometimes they are way off the mark.

As Leaders – Are We Talking About the Same Thing?

If you are in any kind of leadership position, realizing the power of word association is very helpful.  You may think you’re being very clear in your communication only to be surprised that your direct reports or a colleague assumed something quite different.  In most cases, it’s perfectly understandable because we hear what makes sense to us – in our own context.  So a wise leader always double checks to make sure that everyone heard the same thing.  And if you have any doubts about how complex communication is – especially between generations – just bring out that game of Password!

 

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Kayaking in Maine: Lesson in Patience

It’s beautiful up here on a quiet pond in Maine.  My twin sister and I have organized a wonderful week for family and friends at a lakeside cabin on North Lake in Norway, Maine.  Each summer we enjoy getting everyone together to laugh and play by the water either on the West or East coast.  This time we are in western Maine filled with endless waterways and kayaks.  So as Diane and I carefully step into the bright orange kayaks early this morning it occurred to me that I’m not sure I’ve ever taken a single kayak out myself.  “Have you ever done this before?” I ask my twin. “No, I don’t think so” she responds – but we figure it can’t be hard and it wasn’t.

Practicing Patience

We paddle slowly but sometimes bump into each other kayaks because we’re still getting the rhythm of the stroking down.  I practice doing slow donuts so I can go backwards and forward as needed.  So with a bit of effort, we get going down the shoreline toward the distant mountains.   I ask her, as a family psychotherapist, what would be the personal or professional lesson that we could learn from this quiet experience of kayaking in Maine.  Diane doesn’t hesitate “Patience” she says . . .  “you’re not going anywhere too fast and that feels wonderful”.

We don’t get many times to practice patience in this way.  Smooth and steady and we’ll get there just fine.  I loved seeing the lily pads with flowers in the “secret cove”.  And then a slow donut turn and we’re headed back to our cabin, breakfast and sleeping teenagers.  How else can we practice patience?  Here’s one more way . . . being the last person to watch the bonfire die down at the end of the evening.  Just chatting and watching the flames become embers and the ash.  Now that takes patience.

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Multi-Tasking & Multiple Mistakes

Mistakes happen.  Sometimes it’s unavoidable but I’m stuck by how often we make mistakes simply because we are distracted by thinking of several things at once.  Somehow, the idea of “multi-tasking” became the buzz word a few years ago for being a superior performer.  “Ability to multi-task” became a common job interview question and key criteria for hire.  If we were able to master running from task to task we were suppose to be better than our colleagues.  An interesting skill but is it really effective or even efficient?

Nine Minutes to Refocus

Step back and watch yourself on a typical busy day.  What happens when phones are ringing, people are coming by your office, your computer screen is flashing and the cell phone is beeping at you.  Yes, you can jump back and forth but your ability to concentrate is greatly reduced.  The research (and our own observations) show clearly that it actually takes between 9 – 15 minutes to refocus to your original place when you have been interrupted.  Sometimes, that’s perfectly fine for simple tasks but for anything that needs concentration, creativity and focus that’s a lot of time trying to get back to where you left off.  The ripple effect is significant . . . we make more mistakes; feel more stressed because we’re not getting anything done well and the sense of enjoyment on a job well-done is often gone.

Five Ways to Avoid Multi-Tasking

Resist the temptation to multi-task by practicing concentrating on one thing at a time – especially anything that is important to your work and your employer.  Be truly present in the moment by doing these five things:

Bodie Gold Town

Know when you are at your best during the day (morning, afternoon, evening, late night).
“Chuck” your time by setting aside blocks of time to concentrate on certain tasks.
Don’t read your email early in the morning (it will distract you!).
Be more realistic about how much time a task will actually take.Close your eyes when talking on the phone (you will naturally be much more present).
And finally (my favorite) take at least 3 things off your “to-do” list today.  You can’t do it all and that’s okay!
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Take the Day Off! It’s Good for Business

Now this is different . . . a day in the middle of the week with nothing pressing.  A half-day meeting got cancelled at the last minute; the Internet at the office isn’t working; no client sessions are scheduled; it’s 92 degrees in Reno, NV and it’s the last week before my college-age daughter returns to school on the east coast.  So an idea floats up as I’m driving home from work . . . how about just taking the day off tomorrow and heading up to our beautiful Lake Tahoe.  So the next morning an ice cooler is packed, beach towels and suntan lotion are thrown in and we’re ready for “Road Trip!”.

Of course, the daughter is a bit less enthusiastic about rising at the crack of dawn and keeps asking “But what are we going to do?”.  As I hustle her into the car, I explain that on a true road trip you don’t know what you’re going to do until you’re doing it.  And that’s exactly what we did . . . cinnamon crepes in Tahoe City and then a look at the map to say let’s do something we’ve never done before.  So around the lake we go.  And we wind up hiking to the Vikingsholm – a magnificent  Norwegian castle on Emerald Bay at Lake Tahoe.  Then on to an early dinner on the deck of my favorite lakeside restaurant and rolling back down the mountain to Reno by sunset.  A wonderful way to finish off our “delicious” day.

Delicious Days Are Good For Business

A “delicious day” is a day just for you – to rest and renew – that is slipped in between normal busy work days.  As Americans, we tend not to give ourselves permission to take those days especially when economic times are tough.  We push harder making each business day a bit longer and hopefully more productive.  But actually when we take the time to slow down and relax the endless chatter in our heads we are really far more creative, flexible and productive.  It’s the best thing we can do for our own businesses, our customers and our employers.

Alternate Work with Rest

One of my favorite books Full Engagement describes fascinating research that shows how high performing athletes (and workers like us) do far better with alternating periods of intense activity/training with downtime.  I’ve used this research many times in workshops and people are always intrigued.  It makes sense.  As humans, we simply are not made to physically and mentally perform at 110% every day all day.  We simply can’t do it and be at our best.  But if we take a lesson from professional athletes and alternate highly focused work times with real relaxation we can actually bring much more value, skills and talents to our work.  Think about it and then take that day off!

 

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Consulting with Your Colleagues

As I was driving into my office this morning, I found myself appreciating my network of professional colleagues here in the Northern Nevada area.  They feed my soul; create synergy for new ideas, support me when life is in a whirlwind and challenge me to stretch and grow.  And I do the same for them.

Easy to Get Isolated

It’s easy to get isolated when you own your own business.  This is especially true when you are a sole proprietor and are in the human services field – coaching, training, consulting, counseling etc.  If you have your own office or are working from home it’s easy to not see or even talk to your colleagues for several days.  And interestingly, this isolation often increases the longer you are in business.  We can get complacent – taking relationships for granted. 

It Takes Work

It takes work . . . to reach out and connect regularly with your colleagues when times are both busy and when it’s a bit slower.  And it also takes a commitment of time, energy and money.

I have owned my own training & coaching business for over ten years and have a wonderful multi-disciplinary network in this Northern Nevada community.  I’ve worked hard to build these relationships and it’s often involved taking a leadership role in the organization.  Leadership is a great way to meet the “movers & shakers” and to become known.

For now, this is what is working for me. I am an active member in my two professional associations (ASTD training & NPCA coaching); belong to two business organizations (Chamber of Commerce & WIN) and one volunteer community organization (that feeds the passion).

I also try to bring colleagues together often – usually over coffee – to just talk and share ideas on how we can help each other succeed in our own professional businesses.   The exchange of wisdom, experience and expertise creates a wonderful synergy.   I always feel energized and inspired afterwards!

 Set Time Aside Each Week

So here’s an idea . . . set aside some time each week (yes, weekly!) to stay connected to your professional network.  Friday mornings are the best for me.  Pick up the telephone and call one or two colleagues. Find out what’s new with them and always be thinking how you could help them achieve what they are working on.

Let them hear your voice – and you hear them.  It’s good for your business and for you personally as well.  So now I’m off to meet a favorite colleague for a quick lunch.  What a great way to end the work week!

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