Tag Archives: Relationships

Miscommunication: Hearing What We Want to Hear

Well it happened again.  I’m sitting in one sandwich shop and my college-age daughter is sitting in another one across town.  How did that happen?  We hear what we want to hear – it’s that simple. 

Assuming We Know

Our lunch disconnect was a classic example of the most common kind of miscommunication.  Two people thinking they understand the other one but actually only hearing what they want to hear – and then making an assumption that makes perfect sense to them. 

For example, I made the assumption that  “Of course, we’re going to meet here.  It’s closest to my work”.  But the daughter assumes “Of course, we’re going to meet here.  It’s closest to my errands”.  It happens so easily and we all do it.  And then there can be a chorus of “But you said.  No, I didn’t.  Yes, you did”. 

It’s only lunch today but in a work setting these kinds of miscommunication can have a more serious ripple effect.  As adults we can be quite stubborn and easily convinced that we are right – we understood perfectly well but it’s the other person that mixed it up once again.

Check and Double Check

So here’s what to do minimize these kinds of missed connections . . . pause for just a second and confirm (even with your teenager) that you both are really talking about the same thing.  Check and double check that you are both going to the same place, at the same time for the same purpose.  Sounds too simple?  It is simple but it will save you lots of time and aggravation.  You’ll also not miss out on lunch with your gorgeous daughter.  And those times will fly by . . . and back to college on the east coast she will go.

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Building Strategic Alliances

Just yesterday I was reminded again about how wise it is for business people to actively build strategic alliances.  I had gotten a message through LinkedIn from a new licensed clinical social worker who was just starting her practice here in Reno.  She had gotten my name through a mutual colleague and wanted to meet me over coffee.  She explained that she was interested in my coaching work and wanted to share what she was doing – and then maybe we could refer to each other as needed. 

What’s the Benefit for Me?

Was I interested?  Absolutely!  First, I love to meet new professionals that are starting their own businesses.  I want to see them succeed and if I can encourage and support them I certainly will.  Second, I am always updating my own referral list – for local counselors, resume writers and consultants with specific expertise that I don’t have.  I enjoy being known as a “go-to” person and I’m delighted to connect others with those that can help them.   It’s a win-win for all of us.

How To: Building Strategic Alliances

Building strategic alliances that are mutually beneficial is a practiced skill.  It is identifying what you need to be more successful (just as this woman did), what someone else needs to be equally successful and then forming a strategic alliance to make that happen.  And it’s just as important to form these alliances inside an organization if you’re working for someone else as it is when you have your own business.  Here’s how to begin:

  • Identify 3 areas you want to improve or expand in your work
  • Ask around . . . “Who else does this kind of work?”
  • Keep asking to see who knows who – can you get a personal introduction?
  • Reach out and invite the individual to coffee – see if there is a positive energy between you
  • And then explore “How can we help each other be more successful?”

My Challenge to You

It’s the summer and work schedules are often more relaxed.  This is a perfect time to build contacts and relationships.  My challenge to you is to take this time to reach out and get to know at least three new professionals working in related fields.  Choose people that you think you would genuinely enjoy and that you see a possibility of your work mutually benefiting each other.  If one out of the three works out that is great success.  And then let me know how it goes!

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Book Yourself Solid by Michael Port

Book Yourself Solid: The Fastest, Easiest, and Most Reliable System for Getting More Clients Than You Can Handle Even If You Hate Marketing and Selling, Michael Port, 2011.

This brand new book is literally stuffed full of fantastic ideas for a small business owner. Some of my favorite parts were how to identify my “ideal client”; understanding why people buy from me; ideas on pricing services and then seven powerful chapters on how to market ourselves and our businesses.

Port’s energy and passion for seeing us succeed flows out of every chapter.  I love how he signs off with a note, “Never hesitate to be in touch. We’re here to serve you. And it’s an honor to do so”. Now that is impressive.  So pick this book up and read it cover to cover and back again.  It’s that good!

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Lunch on Friday?

I usually have lunch with my Dad, age 93, on Fridays but since he is still working (corporate attorney) sometimes he can’t make it.  This week was one of those times . . . so I found myself thinking about whom I could call for a late lunch on a beautiful sunny Friday afternoon. 

Stretch & Call Someone New

It’s easy to call old friends but I reconsidered . . . how about calling someone who’s on that list “I really would like to get to know them better”.  So often, we meet someone professionally at a networking event and promise to get together but we never somehow get around to it.  This time, I knew I would be hungry after teaching an awesome tele-class and ready for a relaxing lunch and some great conversation.  So I called a colleague I hadn’t seen for ages –  and she was available and hungry too.  So off we went . . .

A New Connection – A Renewed Friendship  

Over a great lunch we shared work updates, talked about career trends, emerging opportunities here in Northern Nevada and several “hidden” resources that could benefit my career coaching clients.  As I drove back to the office I was glad I hadn’t eaten at my desk again but rather made the effort to connect professionally with someone I had lost track of but whom I always admired.  Try it yourself – next Friday for lunch!

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Networking Made Easier!

Whether you are in the job search, exploring an entirely new career path or marketing your own business networking is critical to your success.  There is simply no better way to advance your career than to personally connect with people that are in the know – people that can open doors for you and send opportunities your way.  And in turn, you are doing the same for them. 

Easier Said Than Done

Sounds easy?  Networking doesn’t come easily for most people especially for introverts.  Many people find that networking can be quite overwhelming or even intimidating especially in larger events or with complete strangers.  It’s a skill that takes practice, practice and more practice.  

3 Steps for Easy Networking

Here’s three steps to make networking not only easier but more fun and productive.  First, think of networking as making connections – building relationships.  This is a different mindset entirely.  Set the intention of having one or two significant conversations – not “working the room”.  Second, listen  in these conversations with sincere curiosity.  Be curious about everything – the focus is on them not you.  Give them the gift of listening.  Third, think of what you can offer them – how can you help them get what they need – perhaps an introduction; a good book or resource or a shared idea.  

You will be pleasantly surprised how this shift in your mindset (and expectations) takes much of the stress out of networking.  It’s an other-directed approach that is much more productive.  Bring a couple of business cards back, enter them in your database and send a quick email to just say how much you enjoyed the conversation.  Now that’s powerful networking!

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