Category Archives: And a Bit More

Miscommunication: Hearing What We Want to Hear

Well it happened again.  I’m sitting in one sandwich shop and my college-age daughter is sitting in another one across town.  How did that happen?  We hear what we want to hear – it’s that simple. 

Assuming We Know

Our lunch disconnect was a classic example of the most common kind of miscommunication.  Two people thinking they understand the other one but actually only hearing what they want to hear – and then making an assumption that makes perfect sense to them. 

For example, I made the assumption that  “Of course, we’re going to meet here.  It’s closest to my work”.  But the daughter assumes “Of course, we’re going to meet here.  It’s closest to my errands”.  It happens so easily and we all do it.  And then there can be a chorus of “But you said.  No, I didn’t.  Yes, you did”. 

It’s only lunch today but in a work setting these kinds of miscommunication can have a more serious ripple effect.  As adults we can be quite stubborn and easily convinced that we are right – we understood perfectly well but it’s the other person that mixed it up once again.

Check and Double Check

So here’s what to do minimize these kinds of missed connections . . . pause for just a second and confirm (even with your teenager) that you both are really talking about the same thing.  Check and double check that you are both going to the same place, at the same time for the same purpose.  Sounds too simple?  It is simple but it will save you lots of time and aggravation.  You’ll also not miss out on lunch with your gorgeous daughter.  And those times will fly by . . . and back to college on the east coast she will go.

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Fear! Rattlesnakes & Coyotes

It’s early on a Saturday morning and the sun is just raising over the Virginia foothills here in SW Reno, Nevada.  It’s a perfect time for coyotes to hunt and for the rattlesnakes to come out from under the rocks.  It’s also my favorite time to get the dogs out (Snowball the elderly golden retriever & Dooley the Westie with attitude).  But as we set off, I’m a bit fearful of what we may encounter on the trail ahead – especially the coyotes. 

Turning Back or Pressing On

It’s tempting to cut the walk short and just head over to Starbucks.  But then I do a reality check and ask myself “Have I ever seen a coyote on this trail?” The answer is “No”.  “Have I ever encountered a rattlesnake – ever?” Again the answer is “No”.  And the internal conversation continues back and forth . . . “So what are you afraid of? Well, I’ve read about coyotes snatching small dogs. True, but the chances of that happening are probably slim to none on this Saturday morning.”  It’s a reality check as the sun peaks up over the hills that actually the dogs are just fine happily peeing on every piece of sagebrush as they trot up the dirt trail.  As for me, I remind myself that I will handle anything that happens – and it could – but it  probably won’t.  

Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back

Our fears can keep us from so many pleasures if we let them.  Yes, things happen but we are stronger than we think.  It’s the “What If?” that can hold us back – that can convince us so quickly that we really shouldn’t do this or that because “What If?”.  I would challenge all of us to ask ourselves “But what will I be missing if I let fear stop me?”  Sometimes the risk is more than what we want to take but lots of times we fear something that hasn’t even happened and in reality will likely not happen at all.  So go on ahead . . . take the dogs out early morning and enjoy that sunrise which you would be missing if you let those fears get in your way.

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Zumba! At Least I’m There

Okay, somehow I got talked into taking a Zumba dance class by my college-age very athletic niece and daughter.  So I’m a reluctant participant although there are lots of people there including several young guys who weren’t doing much better than me.  But I’m willing to give it a try although I warned the girls to not laugh at me ’cause at least I’m there.

I actually work out all the time and have for years (longer than those girls have been alive!).  I do weights, machines and strength classes so I’m pretty good at following the leader.  But this class is a step up – there are no directions from the instructor just lots of moving, bumping and grinding.  It’s the ultimate “Simon Says” game with no “says”.  But the music is great and the crowd is enthusiastic

Doing Something Different

So as I’m bobbing and weaving to the music, I’m thinking that this is good – it’s good to stretch the comfort zone and try something different.  I prefer knowing what to do when but with a little practice I probably can get a few of these steps learned.  I remind myself that encouraging ourselves to stretch and grow is critical for handling the bigger changes in our lives. We need regular practice in adapting to what’s new and perhaps a bit uncomfortable.  Ouch, just stepped on my own toe.

We Don’t Have to Be Perfect

I don’t have to have this Zumba stuff down perfectly.  I’m there with my girls and that’s good enough.  And I’m a big believer in the old saying “Showing up is 80% of success”.  We don’t have to be perfect – and we can’t be even close to perfect when we try something different.  And that’s okay.  So when these girls are collapsing on the floor with laughter, I kindly remind them that “Yes, you too will be my age someday” and  “at least I’m here”!

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Summertime! Can’t Get Anything Done

Okay, I have an attitude problem.  I just can’t get anything done.  My mind is gone . . . and it’s on the beach at Lake Tahoe or on that tandem bike down in Geneoa.  It feels great to finally have some warm weather here in Northern Nevada.  Just last Monday morning, June 6th, it looked like the old days of living in Norway – cold & wet.  But now it’s is lovely and I’m ready to just play.  So how do I “self-coach” myself to not bolt out the office with flip flops & swimsuit in hand at noon each day?  Now you might be much more disciplined that I am but just in case you struggle with this same delicious impulsive behavior here are three good tips . . . 

Keep the “To-Do” List Very Short

I like to work with odd numbers.  So this morning I said I would get five main “work-related” tasks done.  No more – no less.  I write that list down and check it off.  Some of the tasks I even break into smaller pieces so I can give myself lots of credit for getting part of the bigger elephant eaten.  I turn off the music, close the blinds and not allow myself to wander off down the hallway to chat with colleagues.  And lots of celebration for getting those five tasks done. After all, it’s summertime!

“Chunk” Your Time

Remember this ‘ole way of maximizing your time and energy.  Take your day and divide it up into chunks of time.  And then decide what tasks are the most important and put those into the chunk of time that you are the most energetic, alert and productive.  For us business owners, put in anything to do with the financial end of your business into this prime time.  I know that I am much more productive early in the morning – I can get more done at 5:30am than the whole evening before.  So I try to minimize working late at night and instead just get up a bit earlier in the morning.  That early morning “chunk” is my best time. 

Plan Ahead to Slow Down

If you can, plan ahead to enjoy the summer.  Being an obsessive planner myself, I mapped out the summer months way back when we were buried in snow in January. I blocked out time on the wall calendar that I knew I would either be back on the East Coast, hitting the wineries with my identical twin or transporting various college kids back and forth to their schools.  If I can, I slow down the number of training commitments I make for the summer months and instead schedule those in the early fall.  Usually, that is just fine with others since they also want to be less hurried and stressed during these nice warm days. 

Finally, just go do it. Slide out the door discreetly and head for either the Truckee River to float your toes or grab up those vacationing kids and head up to Lake Tahoe.  After all, summertime only comes once a year!

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Just Keep Pedaling: Rain, Hail & Cold

Just keep pedaling . . . wise words I repeated to myself as the rain, hail and cold beat down on my husband, Wally, and me as we rode our racing tandem bicycle in a 60 mile race in Northern California this past weekend.  With 250 other bicycles (including many other racing tandems) we were riding in the beautiful ranching community of Indian Valley close to Lake Almanor. 

“Who’s idea was this anyway?!”  Well, I guess in all honesty it was mine.  It sounded good on paper and we had planned for months to do this . . . but who would have known that we’d have rain, sleet & snow on Memorial Day weekend.  But there we were with nothing to do but keep on pedaling.  

What Makes for Success

So as the miles swept by under my pedals (we average about 16 miles an hour) I got to thinking about what makes for success on a challenge such as this.  I came up with five ideas:

  • Set the vision of finishing (with glass of wine & hot bath)
  • Concentrate on the rhythm (I close my eyes but Wally keeps his eyes open)
  • Be in the moment (listen to the sounds around me & relax in the movement of the tandem)
  • Stay in sync with the cues Wally is giving me for the steep uphills & fast downhills
  • Trust in the bike, the front rider (has to be a strong rider) and my own ability

And we were done . . . 5 hours later with frozen feet and “screaming” quads we pedaled into Greenville High School to check in and say thank you to the volunteers who fed and encouraged us all along the way.  And it was more fun to send the IPhone pictures to those college kids who think Mom & Dad are too old to barely move.  A great adventure and some wonderful reminders that it really is well worth it to just “keep pedaling”.

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